Page 68 of Heartbreaker

“Oh yeah,” She looks back over her shoulder at the house and the pile of little characters and sighs. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“Whatever you want, I’m going to give it to you.”

“I guess I should be more careful about telling you things, then,” she laughs. “You seem to take them literally.”

“Never. Never hide from me, Lana. I just want you to have everything. To be everything, to be free with me.”

“I want the same for you, too, you know,” she says. Her body is against mine. On instinct, I slide a hand down her dress, resting on the small of her back.

“You give me everything I want and more, Lana.” I mean it in multiple ways—a soft space for me to be myself, the comfort to be myself, the courage to try more, but she takes it differently, her lips going lax as she moves something closer, her arms looping around my neck.

“I could give you what you want right now,” she teases. “It’s the least I could do. A thank you, if you will.” I groan, pulling her hips into mine. My dick twitches, waking up at the mere suggestion. It makes no sense considering I’ve spent more hours buried inside her every night than not. She even woke up in my bed this morning, letting me fuck her hard and deep before she went back to her room to get ready. I should be utterly sated, but somehow, I still want her.

I wonder if I’ll ever not want Lana Carson.

Looking over her shoulder at the perfectly accessible bed, I contemplate it for just a moment before shaking my head.

“No,” I say, the word filled with regret. “No, we have places to be, mysteries to unravel.” She smiles up at me, beaming and full of promise.

“After?” she asks.

“I’ll hold you to it. Now let’s get out of here before I change my mind.” Then I grab her hand and lead her out of the room and out of the hotel to introduce her to my past—and what I hope is still my future.

THIRTY-FOUR

Hours later, Lana and I walk hand in hand from the racetrack to where the after-party is being held. I know she’s watching me with curious eyes, but I can’t seem to shake this strange mood. It started when we parked and walked into the track. My heart started racing, a Pavlov’s effect to the impending adrenaline my body thought I’d be feeding it soon. It was familiar—the sounds, the smells, the feel. All the same as before, except it was all wrong.

Instead of wearing a race suit, I’m in jeans and a T-shirt.

Instead of taking my place in the pit, I sat in a numbered folding chair.

Instead of wearing a helmet and hearing the race relayed through the headset, I heard it from the announcers and watched the turns that can’t be seen from the stands on a screen.

It was all wrong. Totally and completely wrong.

The door to the party comes into view, and I reach for it, but instead of grabbing the handles, Lana tugs my hand, pulling me aside. I look down at her with confusion, and she gives me a reassuring smile that I try to return. From the uncomfortable look on her face, I don’t think I nailed it.

“You okay?” she asks, voice low.

“Yeah. I’m fine. It’s just… It’s just a lot,” I say, trying to keep myself from sounding too down.

“We can go back,” she murmurs, her hand reaching up to settle on my chest. “It’s fine, Rome. We don’t have to⁠—”

“We do,” I tell her, my voice not a cautious whisper like hers.

“Rome, it’s clear this isn’t fun for you.”

“It’s not,” I admit, a bit too much sharpness in my voice. I close my eyes and try to center myself. “It’s not fun. It sucks, and I wish I were out there. But if we figure this out, it’ll help me come back.” It’s what’s been rolling through my mind all day, the only thing keeping me sane right now. As soon as we figure out who is behind this mess, I’m good to go back to Indy. I give Lana a smile that feels somehow more forced than before.

“Now, let’s go before I change my mind.” She looks doubtful, but I lean down to press my lips to her gently before moving back to the door. Taking in a deep breath, I open it before guiding her in.

This, too, is both foreign and simultaneously so familiar—the noise, the laughter, the music, the people. It’s extravagance, meant to be either a celebration for a win or a party to get over the disappointment of a loss. Sam Trent won today, so it’ll be decidedly more cheerful and lively in the room. While I’m happy for him and I’m even happier to know Levi did not win—I don’t think I could have handled watching him win from the stands—it was strange being able to tally up the mistakes, the missed opportunities, and what I would have done differently.

It was strange knowing I would have undoubtedly locked in the win.

I wave to a couple of people as we enter, then pull Lana into a corner to steal some peace.

“How do you feel?” she asks.