Page 90 of Heartbreaker

“Well, you’re going to be leaving soon, too,” I say with a soft smile. While I don’t know the full extent of his conversation with his dad today, I know that at breakfast he mentioned going back to Indy within the next two weeks. Kevin was already in contact with the board to tell them the news on Levi, and that they needed someone to race in his place as a lead driver. It seems that they’ll be able to bring Rome back on, ending his suspension.

“But… you belong here,” he says, gentle and confused. I give him a soft smile, trying to hide the way his words twist at the unfamiliar doubt in my chest.

“I had fun while I was here, but it’s time for my next adventure.” There’s a moment of silence, and I fold a shirt, needing something distracting, needing something to keep my hands busy, but they’re still with his next words.

“Or you could have more of the same adventure. Make this your new adventure. I think you should consider staying, Lana. I know Phil would be more than happy to have you come on full-time.”

“I don’t think that’s what I’m meant to be doing,” I say, trying to keep my voice neutral. I’ve spent the last few weeks being more open with Rome than I’ve ever been with anyone, and I’ve loved it. But right now, it means I have to work twice as hard not to give him any hint of doubt brewing in my chest.

“It is, and you know it. God, look at all the women you’ve inspired. Look at the change you’ve made with the guys here. You earned their respect and beat them at something they’ve been working at for years,” he’s frustrated, though I know it’s on my behalf, not at me. I nod all the same, agreeing with his points and countering with my own.

“And I also opened the floor for a new woman to come in and do the same. I’m glad I was able to make a difference outside of solving this case.”

“Lana—”

I set the shirt down and stand up, wanting this conversation to be over. I can’t be content with these outlandish ideas. It’s not an option for me.

“What does it matter, Rome? You’re not going to be here, so it’s not like I’m leaving you. In fact, unless I have another far-off assignment, I’ll be closer to you.” In between races, I found out he’ll be at his home outside of Philly, which is barely an hour from my place outside of Hudson City. Another small way that makes it feel like we were meant to be. “And in between assignments, I can come travel with you, go to your races, watch you do what you love most of all.” His jaw tightens, his arms crossed on his chest, annoyed that I have good points. But he doesn’t know I have had these same arguments with myself over the last few days. I’ve repeated them over and over, trying just as hard to convince myself.

I step closer to him, hating any unnecessary distance between us, and set a hand on his cheek, giving him a soft smile. “It’s what I do, Rome. This is all part of it. I come in, I spend some time as someone new, and then I get to have fun with some other adrenaline high.” With a sigh, he reaches out, putting an arm around my waist and pulling me to him.

“That’s what you want? To go?” His tone is defeated, but I maintain my soft, airy look and smile.

Then, I lie.

“It is. I’m the Chameleon, after all.” There’s a moment of hesitation when I wonder if he’ll go with it, before he lets out a deep sigh.

“But you still want to be with me, right?” he asks, almost nervously, and I grin wide before looping an arm around his neck.

Then, I tell the truth.

“More than anything, Roman. I could be anything and anyone, but at the end of the day, I’ll always want to be your girl.”

FORTY-TWO

“Where’s Lana?” a familiar voice asks as I sit in a seat at the arena, watching practice from the stands. I should be down there, since I promised Phil I’d race this weekend, but I’m just not feeling it. Everything feels a bit hollow, a bit less interesting. While the meeting with the board isn’t over, my dad assured me in no uncertain terms that I can come back in as little as two weeks from now and take Levi’s spot.

I got what I wanted.

I fixed my image, won back my spot, and cleared my name.

But why the hell does it feel so empty?

When I turn toward the voice, Tyler is standing there, arms crossed on his chest, looking down at me with interest.

“In her room, I think. She and Demi are packing up and have a few calls with their boss.” After everything came out, Lana and Demi were given the go-ahead to explain to some of the drivers and crew about her real reason for being here and why Mel and Jordan would no longer be here. Everyone was shocked that Lana wasn’t actually a driver, of course, but no one gave her a hard time about it, something I know she was worried about. I wonder if that’s ever been a concern for her in past assignments, or if, like the rest of this one, it was an outlier to get so close to everyone here.

Tyler’s brows furrow. “She’s packing? Why?” I shrug, trying to seem more unaffected than I am.

“Their assignment is over. They’ve got a couple of days off, but I think they’re already lining up another mission.”

“So she’s just… leaving?”

“This was a job for her. It’s time for her to move on to the next one.” The words sit heavy in my chest as I think about Lana changing herself again, fitting into a new role, creating a new version of herself.

The truth is, I don’t want her to move on to another assignment. It’s not because of my own personal reasons, but because I don’t want that for her. I don’t want her to feel the need to keep changing to fit in, not when she’s found somewhere she fits so fucking perfectly.

But what I love most about Lana is the way she shows me who she is, the real version, not the curated one she makes so that people like her, so she fits in. And if she wants to leave and continue with the Mavens, I’ll support her no matter what. As I contemplate this, Tyler moves to sit beside me.