Page 138 of Love Felt Like This

This is awkward.

He clears his throat, setting Ava down. My dad comes around the corner.

“Hey, you two. Do you…uh…” He looks between me and Griffin. “Want me to take her back?”

Griffin nods. “Thanks. Yeah. I gotta talk to Bev.”

He’s making us talk alone.

Why?

My throat feels like it’s constricting.

This is how I die: of a heart attack in my parents’ diner.

Ava toddles off, escorted by my dad.

And then it’s just us.

My mouth is as dry as a bone when Griffin’s eyes swivel to me, slowly and deliberately. Focused.

“You’ve been weird,” he says.

“Oh” is the only answer I can come up with.

“I’m just calling it like I see it.”

“Huh. Well, all right.” Maybe if I sound nonchalant, I’ll believe that I am.

He inhales, rubbing his palm over his beard. “It wasn’t the…” He blows out his breath. “When we—?”

My body sparks like lightning striking a tree, setting it ablaze. Little licks of heat travel down to my limbs and fingertips. He’s gonna bring up the bed. The cuddling.

“No!” The word rushes out of me. “No. No no no.”

The corner of his mouth crooks up.

“That’s a lot of ‘no’s,” he says.

My shoulders deflate. “I know.” I give a sheepish smile at the wordplay. It grants me a twitching smile back.

“What’s going on, B?”

I sigh. I’m tired of this secret. There are so many people Griffin works hard for, and he deserves someone who does the same for him. Who tells him exactly what’s going on—not just that things are great and that’s that. Plus, I’ve never been a good liar anyway.

I unlock my phone, open the texts, then hold them out for Griffin to see.

I know the moment he sees the sender’s name, because his jaw tenses.

I nudge it closer. “Read them. I don’t mind.”

Hesitantly, Griffin takes my phone. As his eyes scan over the texts, I can still see Beau’s words myself. Every text is a ghost of Remember when… and I’ve been writing songs that feel like you. Is that weird?

I wish I could say It’s all weird, Beau, but that can of worms feels too difficult to unscrew. It’s like he’s leaving off where we were two years ago. No dates with other people. No hurtful words. No viral video where his fan base attacked me.

Like I’ll just forget.

Like I’ll just fall for him all over again.