Page 204 of Love Felt Like This

This is too real.

What do I even say?

I know we’re busy and we both have crazy lives, but let’s make this work despite probably never being able to see each other?

What if I’m wrong about everything? What if I’m hurt all over again?

Nana knocks on my door, asking, “Dressed?” only after the door is already open.

“Well?” I hold out my arms, letting the angel sleeves slip down beside me.

“Yes,” she says. “That’s beautiful.”

I bite my bottom lip. “What if I shouldn’t go?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“It’s just…well…we both live such different lives. What am I even asking for here? Hey, let’s get together and then…I don’t know…exist apart? What if we don’t see each other most months of the year because he’s on tour or I’m filming?”

She waves dismissively. “Oh, what if?”

I take a step closer. “No, I’m serious.”

Maybe it’s the way my eyebrows cinch together or that, for once, I can’t think of a single quippy remark, but she grasps my shoulders and nods.

“Okay,” she says. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I saw how often Grandpa was away from you.”

“Okay.”

“You said you didn’t regret that, but…how did you…how did you make it work?”

She exhales. “It was…tough. It was tough; I won’t lie. But Beverly…we lived an absolutely beautiful life. I got to travel with him, see the world…and yes, he was gone sometimes. But we sent letters. We talked on the phone every night. And even though it hurt to be away from him, I wouldn’t have wanted to end my day talking to anyone else.” Her eyes dart between mine. “Albert died too young. He worked too much. We both knew that. I would have given anything for more time with him. I know he would have too. But any time we did get was worth every single second. Don’t you feel the same way about Griffin?”

And without hesitation, because my heart knows me better than I do, I say, “Of course.”

Griffin is worth every potential missed call, every single moment of a long night worked, every laugh heard through video texts instead of in bed beside me, and he’s worth all the in-person moments we can get.

A little bit of Griffin Harvey is better than nothing.

“Then go get him,” Nana says. “You can overcome the rest.”

Finch’s head pops around the corner. “I’m starting the car. Bevvy, you all right?”

“Start the car,” I say.

Nana squeezes my shoulders, pats them, then drops her arms. “Let’s go. Finch?”

Finch, beaming, extends his elbow to escort Nana out the door, leaving me in the room by myself. My own smile twitches at the corner of my mouth. I shift from shoe to shoe, clacking my heels together and winding my hands in front of my dress.

I’ve taken exactly four risks in my life.

One, moving to Los Angeles to pursue puppeteering.

Two, depleting my savings account to revive Birds on the Block.

Three, appearing on a live television variety show alone.