Page 92 of Love Felt Like This

My mouth feels dry. “What? Why? What’s going on?”

“You know they’re flaky. They drop shows and meetings like flies.”

I suddenly feel faint. “But…Connection is still interested? Right?”

“Yes.”

“But now that’s our only option?”

“Yes.”

I nod, even though he can’t see me. The felt in my hand is shaking. I drop it on the table.

“Hey. Bev? You can do this,” Finch assures me. “You have time. But let’s not freak out.”

“I’m not freaking out.”

“I know you are. Relax.”

I let out a mix between a laugh and a scoff. “Relax? I need to work harder.”

“No, you don’t. You already work yourself to the bone.”

“Finch.”

“I was worried about telling you this,” he says. “You’re sleeping again. You seem happy. I don’t want you spiraling.”

“But this is our only opportunity now.”

“Beverly.” It’s his be reasonable tone.

Too late. My mind is swimming. Starlet and Connection were the two big streaming services that could bring Birds on the Block back. And now my only hope is Connection. Connection, who is the perfect fit, who makes incredible programs, but is notoriously picky with their content.

“Beverly,” he repeats. “Take a beat.”

“I have zero beats left,” I say.

“Don’t drive yourself insane,” he continues. “Take a break today to think. Go have fun with Griffin or something.”

“Have fun with…” I laugh as the words fade, and something else rings like a gong in my brain.

The Grammys.

I haven’t made my decision yet, but now I definitely can’t go. Which maybe is a relief because…I’ve been truly considering it. Selfishly. A fancy dress. Griffin in a suit. Holding hands in public…

It wouldn’t work out. Attending an award ceremony is a fantasy. Things like that don’t happen to people like me. And now I definitely can’t go. It would remove a full weekend from my schedule. So that’s that.

“What are you thinking?” Finch asks.

“Nothing,” I say.

“You were quiet for too long.”

“Seriously, it’s nothing.”

“Bevvy.” I swear he uses that nickname like a weapon.

I sigh. “I thought I might have a thing in February, but I don’t.”