Hey, Bea! Just want to do a quick rundown of where we stand on various projects—your call with CondéNast is SET for Thursday, and Jenna Lyons is going to be in town next week, she wants to know if you’re avail on Wednesday to talk potential collabs? Katy and Corey will email you to set it up. We’re also fielding calls from several publishers about a memoir, but I’ve told them all you aren’t ready for that. Any thoughts on a bone we could throw them in the meantime? A fashion handbook, something like that? Just spitballing here, you’re the creative!
And just to double-check, you’re sure you don’t want to do anything else in television?? I have to tell you, Bea, I’m getting more calls than I know what to do with. Would you remotely consider being a substitute host on The View? Call me when you can!
P.S. I know you’re taking a “break” from social media, but can you PLEASE post at least one Insta story a week? We’ve got to keep your engagement metrics up, or all these new followers will be for NOTHING! Thanks, Bea!
SCRIPT OF MAIN SQUEEZE PROMOTIONAL AD RELEASED IN ADVANCE OF SEASON 14 REUNION SPECIAL
OVER FOOTAGE OF THE PARIS SKYLINE AT SUNSET, WE HEAR A VOICE—
VOICEOVER
One month ago in Paris, not one, but two men were ready to marry Bea Schumacher.
INSERT FOOTAGE: SAM AND BEA ON THE PONT DES ARTS
SAM
I love you, Bea. I want to spend my life with you.
INSERT FOOTAGE: RAY DOWN ON ONE KNEE
RAY
Bea, will you marry me?
ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS AS WE PUSH IN ON BEA’S FACE—BUT THEN WE FREEZE-FRAME AND—
SFX: RECORD SCRATCH
VOICEOVER
But she turned them BOTH down.
SMASH CUT TO A RAPID MONTAGE OF FOOTAGE FROM THROUGHOUT THE SEASON OVER UPBEAT MUSIC
VOICEOVER
This Monday, on the LIVE Main Squeeze Reunion Special, we’ll answer all your burning questions. Why did Bea turn down Sam and Ray? Have they forgiven her? Has she forgiven Luc? And what will she say when she sees Asher for the first time since he left the show?
INSERT FOOTAGE: BEA, ASHER, GWEN & LINUS LAUGHING OVER DINNER
VOICEOVER
Don’t miss a moment of the dramatic Main Squeeze Reunion Special, this Monday night at eight, only on ABS.
Life back in Los Angeles was a little like a parallel universe, one where Bea was mostly the same person, where not many things had changed, but where strangers occasionally gave her odd looks of recognition, and rarely went so far as to offer unsolicited opinions on her romantic choices. Bea didn’t frequent the kinds of bars or restaurants where having been on reality television would entitle one to skip the line, much to Marin’s chagrin. These days, Bea preferred to lie low; avoiding crowded places and staying as far from social media as her agent would allow, relishing the actual, real-life company of her actual, real-life friends. She hadn’t watched any of the episodes of her season yet, even though they were all right there waiting. For now, she was happy to be back in her own house, her own clothes, her own bed.
But as the reunion show neared, one month to the day after the finale, public interest in Bea’s life started to perk up again, and Bea felt the familiar nerves return. It was nothing close to the anxiety she’d felt prior to and during her season, but she thought over and over about what it would be like seeing so many of these men for the first time since filming ended—Luc, Sam, Ray, and, if he showed up, Asher.
There wasn’t a thing she could do to stop her racing thoughts—but at least she got to bring Marin along for moral support, and the network sent a plush black SUV to chauffeur them to the studio in Burbank.
“Who are you most nervous to see?” Marin asked, helping herself to some M&M’s from the car’s minibar. “Ray or Asher?”
“Asher’s not coming,” Bea said quickly.
“You don’t know that for sure. TMZ said he might be there.”
“Last I heard, he hasn’t been responding to any of the producers’ emails. They say he’s in breach of contract.”