Page 138 of One to Watch

“I know you won’t.” Bea’s tone was sad but resolute. “Because I’m not going to let you. All these years, you put your needs above mine—which is exactly what you did when you showed up in Paris, by the way—and I couldn’t see it, because I idealized you as the perfect man. But I see who you are now, Ray. And I know that I deserve better.”

The audience applauded heartily, and Johnny took them to commercial. A sound guy came to collect Ray’s mic, but Ray told him to hold on just one second before turning back to Bea.

“So that’s it?” he demanded. “We’re just never going to speak again?”

“Yeah, Ray. I think that’s it.” Bea fought to maintain composure as Ray’s face crinkled and cracked.

“We love each other. I know we do.”

“Maybe,” she whispered. “But I want more than you can give me.”

The sound guy tugged on Ray’s arm, and he turned to go—watching him leave was awful. Bea took a deep breath, and Alison swooped in for one last touch-up, giving her hair an unnecessary zhuzh.

“You’re doing great,” she whispered. “Keep going.”

Bea nodded, and when the show started back up and Johnny welcomed Sam to the stage, it all felt so much easier.

“Hey, beautiful.” Sam hugged Bea warmly, and seeing him was pure joy, same as always.

“God, I was an idiot to let you go.” She smiled, then turned to the audience. “Wasn’t I? Wasn’t I just the worst to turn him down?”

“YES!” came the resounding cheer from the crowd, and everyone laughed together.

“Why did you, then?” Johnny pressed. “I know for me, and for a lot of the audience, it came as a real shock. You and Sam seemed like a perfect couple.”

“I hope it’s clear to everyone that I think Sam is an absolutely amazing man, and he was nothing but wonderful to me. And in some ways, that’s why I knew we weren’t meant to be together.”

“That sounds a little twisted.” Sam made a face at Bea.

“Ha, I know, my mother would be screaming about my tendency to self-sabotage, but that’s not what I mean. It’s more that—there was something not quite real about our relationship. We had a great rapport, great chemistry, but we never really argued or had any conflict, and I think that’s because we never connected at that serious a level. So for me, at the end of the show, the question was what would happen if we took away the fantasy of Main Squeeze, all the travel and limos and hot-air balloons.”

“To be real clear, I could have lived without the hot-air balloons.”

Bea laughed. “See? Dating Sam, that seemed like a perfect fantasy. But in the end, I finally had to be honest with myself that we weren’t right for each other in reality. I couldn’t shake the idea that I was helping Sam on his journey to meet his future wife, but that that person wasn’t me.”

“Sam, do you agree with that assessment?”

“You know, I’m not going to lie, I was hurt when Bea turned me down. She’s the first woman I ever really loved, and that’s going to stick with me a long time. But ultimately, I do think she made the right decision for both of us, and I know we both care for each other and wish each other the best.”

“Do you think you’re ready to search for love again?” Johnny raised an eyebrow.

“You know what?” Sam grinned. “I think I just might be.”

“On that note, I hear you have some news, is that right, Sam?”

“For the first time in history,” he hammed, his voice low and dramatic, “your next Main Squeeze is going to have a mustache.”

The crowd cheered, and Bea hugged Sam—she couldn’t have imagined a better pick for the next Main Squeeze.

“You know I’m gonna be coming to you for advice,” he said to Bea.

“Anytime!” she effused, praying silently that this didn’t mean she’d have to be on the show again next season.

“And I want to say one thing publicly, while I have the chance,” he went on after the applause had died down. “I think it’s great that Bea broke some new ground on this show, and I know I’m doing the same thing by being the first Black man to be the Main Squeeze. But I don’t want us to go backward on body diversity—I want the women I meet to represent a range of sizes, and I’m going to be really upset if the producers don’t come through for me on that.”

Predictably, the audience lost their minds at this, clapping and cheering. It was a great moment, and Bea was happy to end the night on a high note—but Johnny told her they still had one more segment to film after Sam left the stage.

“Bea,” he said, “I’m sorry if this is tough, but I have to ask: Are you disappointed you didn’t find love on your journey?”