Page 34 of One to Watch

TRANSCRIPT OF CHAT FROM #SQUEEZE-MAINIACS SLACK CHANNEL

Beth.Malone: Hey guys, just a friendly reminder that the deadline is TONIGHT at 8pm to submit your picks for your brackets!

Colin7784: Wait, there’s a deadline tonight? I didn’t know—did you send an email about this??

Beth.Malone:

Colin7784: Jkjkjk I SUBMITTED MINE BETH GOD

KeyboardCat: Who did everyone pick?? Wyatt and Luc are the obvious choices, but idk, I kind of liked that Asher guy?

NickiG: Seriously, Cat? He was barely onscreen! I think the champ is losing her touch.

Beth.Malone: Guys, we really shouldn’t be discussing our picks until everyone’s brackets are in.

Colin7784: Sure, wouldn’t want to impugn the integrity of our Main Squeeze pool. Hasn’t the fabric of our society been torn enough?

Beth.Malone:

Colin7784: You’re going to kick me out of the league, aren’t you?

Beth.Malone: I’m strongly considering it.

Enna-Jay: This is a weird question, but do you have to pick someone? Like is there an option where she chooses none of these guys?

KeyboardCat: Since you’re new to this show, I can see where you’d think “wow, every single one of these guys is terrible,” but don’t worry—halfway through the season you always change to, like, NO HOW CAN SHE CUT ANY OF THESE MEN THEIR LOVE IS ALL SO PURE!

NickiG: Is it size-ist to pick Jefferson? Should I not assume she’s going to pick the chubbiest dude?

Enna-Jay: How can their love be pure when the couples always break up?

KeyboardCat: Not always!!!! That firefighter in Oregon!

Beth.Malone: Colorado

KeyboardCat: RIGHT

Colin7784: Is it weird that I feel stressed about what’s gonna happen tonight? What’s gonna happen tonight????

NickiG: Bea’s going to go on a group date, she’s going to get her first kiss, and there’s going to be D-R-A-M-A!

Colin7784: Wow that’s a very specific prediction.

NickiG: I know. I’m psychic. (And that’s what always happens during week 2.)

Beth.Malone: Seriously guys, you have six minutes left to turn in your brackets.

“Well!” Lauren clapped her hands. “I think that went great.”

“I don’t understand how that could possibly be your takeaway.” Bea pulled on a robe and mumbled through her pre-caffeinated haze. Lauren had burst into her bedroom at 8 A.M. bearing the overnight ratings report—but no coffee.

“Four point two in the demo!” Lauren exclaimed. “Our last finale was a two point nine. Do you even know how big a difference that is?”

“One point three?” Bea ventured, wishing this talk of high ratings and outperforming expectations would soothe the knot currently forming in her chest. She’d hoped that, after the premiere, her nerves would settle and this would get easier—after all, that was the last time she’d have to appear on live television until the reunion show, after the whole thing was done and she was already engaged. The rest of the season would be filmed in advance and edited together each weekend before the episodes aired on Monday nights—that had to be less stressful, right? If something went wrong, they could always take it again.

But as Bea listened to Lauren prattle on about ratings and demographics and watched the Pacific roll and crash in the gray, gloomy morning, she felt a twist in her gut. Last night, she’d only met these men. Starting today, she was going to have to date them.

“So talk to me,” Lauren was saying. “We’ve got eighteen men left, but only ten of them can go on your date today. Luc and Wyatt are already on everyone’s radar, so I need to bench them for the moment—don’t worry, you’ll do one-on-one dates with them in the next week or two. They’re gonna be great frontrunners, by the way—one good guy, one bad, I think we can set up a nice triangle.”