Page 47 of One to Watch

“I’ve got to tell you, I’m with Sue on this one.” Marin grabbed Bea’s hand and pulled her down onto the sofa beside her. “Babe, why should millions of Americans care about your ‘journey to find love’ if you don’t?”

Bea sank down into the sofa as Marin put her arms around her, realizing how grotesque this whole experience had made her feel, how much it stung to put on a happy face around all these men while steeped in the knowledge, every waking minute of every single day, that none of them were remotely attracted to her.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I thought pretending would be easier.”

“Don’t you see?” Marin snuggled up against Bea. “It’s good that it’s not easy. If it were easy, that would mean you didn’t care about finding love. But I know that’s not true, Bea. I know how badly you want this. And I know how close you came to having it.”

Bea closed her eyes, pained and relieved to be with someone who knew the real reason why she couldn’t feel happy when she was kissing Luc.

Marin squeezed Bea’s arm. “Bea, do you think it’s possible that you don’t want to date any of these other men for real because you’re still hoping that somehow you might end up with Ray?”

“It’s not like I can just force myself to fall out of love with him,” Bea protested.

“I know. But you can try to move on—particularly since, you know, you’re currently starring on a show where they’ve literally flown in handpicked men from all over the country to date you?”

“Men who despise me.”

“That’s not true! I met them all, and a lot of them really like you—especially Sam and Asher.”

“Sam is a child, and Asher is a jerk.”

“Sam’s more mature than you’d think—you’ll see when you spend time with him. And Asher is totally your type.”

“He’s a smug know-it-all!”

“Correct! Your type! You act like I wasn’t present for all fifty of your professor crushes.”

“Sure, in college.”

“What about that editor you met at that book party two years ago? You wouldn’t shut up for weeks about how hot he was.”

“No one’s saying Asher isn’t hot—”

“Aha!” Marin’s eyes lit up. “So you are interested in him.”

“What does it matter if I am?” Bea huffed. “You saw him on the boat. He publicly accused me of coming here for the wrong reasons, of wasting his time.”

“And I agree, his methods left something to be desired,” Marin concurred. “But was anything he said actually, you know, untrue?”

Bea sighed. She absolutely hated to admit that it wasn’t. But none of these men seemed to understand just how much it could cost her to be open with them.

“I know what happens when I fall in love,” she said quietly. “And I can’t—last year was so bad, Mar. I don’t know if I can live through that again.”

Marin smoothed Bea’s hair out of her eyes. “You can live a long life never being hurt—and never quite being happy. If that’s what you want.”

Bea shook her head—it wasn’t.

“So try, Bea. Okay? You don’t have to get engaged, you don’t have to give anyone your heart. But at the very least, just promise me you’ll try.”

After a long moment, Bea nodded.

“I promise.”

HIGHLIGHTS FROM SAM COX’S MAIN SQUEEZE APPLICANT SURVEY, AS POSTED ON ABS.COM

Name: Sam Cox

Occupation: Volunteer basketball coach