Page 115 of Fang Fiction

by Sunny Burke, posted on vulture.com

Stop the presses, hold the phone, put down your midnight snack, because things are getting CRAZY on these here internets: NOTORIOUSLY RECLUSIVE BLOOD FEUD AUTHOR AUGUST LIRIO HAS TWEETED, INSTA’D, AND TUMBLR’D—ALL FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!!!!!!

This would be big enough news on its own, but the content of the posts themselves was even crazier. All of the posts were text only, all with the same message:

Want to know the truth about Blood Feud? Meet me at The Georgia hotel in Williamsburg at 4:30am. Come in costume.

Okay. So like. WHAT????? Let’s break this down:

First of all, freaking what truth about Blood Feud???? Obviously everyone hopes this means we’re FINALLY getting an announcement about book four, but it could be other things too. Something about the movies? Or could it have to do with the rabid online conspiracies that the vampires from the books actually exist IRL?!

Second, you’re telling me August Lirio, THEE August Lirio, literally one of the bestselling authors on planet Earth, is going to make their first ever public appearance at some random hotel in Brooklyn at 4:30 in the goddamn morning?!?! WHAT?!?! WHY?!?! (Side note about The Georgia Hotel—it’s owned by lesbians and super gay generally so we have to stan that about Lirio’s choice, as weird as the rest of this might be.)

Third, come in costume????? FOR WHAT REASON??????? Like truly what kind of chaos is Lirio trying to wreak right now?!

So, there you have it. Something is going down at 4:30 this morning in Williamsburg, and hundreds of lucky NYC-based Feudies have already announced that they’ll be there. And even if “there” turns out only to be a wild-ass bacchanal of predawn cosplaying fans getting clowned, this dedicated journalist and faithful Feudie will still be among them.

Text message transcript: Flora Castillo and Fern Castillo

Flora [11:04 PM]: Hey, I have a lead for you on Tess Rosenbloom

Fern [11:04 PM]: “A lead”? What are you, a detective on one of those dumb shows you’re always watching

Flora [11:05 PM]: Ok first of all you’re not besmirching Olivia Benson on my watch and second do you want the information or not

Fern [11:05 PM]: I’m perfectly capable of finding her myself, but sure, let’s see if you can save me some time

Flora [11:06 PM]: Can’t be nice even when someone is doing you a literal favor

Flora [11:06 PM]: Anyway, Tess works at The Georgia hotel in Brooklyn. Her shift starts at 4:30am

Fern [11:06 PM]: If I’m such an asshole, then why are you telling me this?

Flora [11:06 PM]: Because I don’t need to make an enemy of Konstantin Adamos

Fern [11:07 PM]: Smart. I’ll let him know

By 4:15 a.m., The Georgia’s lobby was more packed than Tess had ever seen it by several orders of magnitude.

“Oh god, we’re so over legal capacity.” Tess’s manager friend Taylor wrung her hands. “Do you think the fire department will come?”

“Probably.” Mika the desk worker was filing her nails. “They hate fun.”

“It’s gonna be fine,” Tess reassured Taylor, though her own nerves were buzzing.

“What should I do with all this?” Willie the bellhop wheeled over a giant laundry cart full of linens.

“Take it down to laundry?!” Taylor sputtered. “Honestly, do I have to do everything?”

“I think we’re all doing things pretty well outside our job descriptions tonight??” Willie rocked nervously on the balls of his feet.

“Okay, okay, let’s go together. Come on.” Taylor sighed, and they rolled the cart off toward the service elevator.

Tess understood why everyone was so stressed—and they didn’t even know that several absolutely real vampires were on their way to The Georgia (along with the several hundred costumed ones currently present). Tess marveled at how great the crowd looked, especially on such short notice: There were romantic Felixes and gorgeous Isobels, sinister Konstantins of all shapes and sizes, and, of course, dozens and dozens of Callums and Octavias—which wasn’t that fun for Tess or Joni, considering they’d been abandoned by those exact vampires just hours beforehand.

“You look amazing,” Joni said to one Octavia, a fabulous drag queen decked out in an acid-green sequined minidress Octavia had worn to a party in book three.

“Omg, thank you!” The queen grinned and twirled. “I really connect with how mean she is, like as a character.”