Page 111 of Level Up for Love

I turn my head back up toward the Christmas tree. The lights seem to swell and brighten, the halos around each one glowing as I stare, unblinking. Reds and greens swim in my vision, bleeding together like watercolors. Two trails of heat seep out of the corners of my eyes and run down my face into my ears, but still, I don’t blink.

I hear Mona’s voice as if from underwater: distorted, wobbly. I’m picking up only pieces of what she’s saying. I think she’s crying, too, but I haven’t looked at her.

She’s been working on applications, but I didn’t want to tell you about it because there was no guarantee she’d be accepted. I didn’t want you to worry.

I know it’s super far, but this program was her top choice.

We wouldn’t move until the summer, so we still have plenty of time, okay?

I feel terrible.

I thought if I could help you find another D&D group, or a new group of friends, it might make this easier.

So she’s known, then. They’ve been planning this for a long time, and she hasn’t brought it up until now. Is this what they’ve been talking about every time Shay disappears or shows Mona something on her phone?

Is this why Colin suggested we play D&D near the Three Sisters? Does he know?

Does everyone know?

And here Mona is again, being the one to finally tell me what everyone else in the D&D group was too cowardly or too nervous to. Only this time, she was the one keeping the secret from me.

I’m suddenly so, so tired. “Could we talk about this later?” I ask. “After Christmas?”

“…Okay.”

Mona crawls out from underneath the tree and descends back into the basement.

After she leaves, I reach for my card from Dad, like I’m looking for more reasons to feel bad. But when I slide it out from underneath Mona’s, I see that her envelope has already been opened.

I frown, set it aside, and open mine. It reads like the sort of card you’d pick up at the drugstore, full of empty platitudes and happy holidays. But I don’t hate the gift card for a luxury gemstone dice crafter tucked inside. I’ll put that to good use when—

If I play again.

It’s an awful thing to do, but after tucking my card away, I read Mona’s.

Ramona, darling!

I hope your holiday is full of lots of sweets, fun, and maybe a new set of dice…? Enjoy time with the family, and don’t let Mom make you work too hard. ;)

I also just wanted to say how happy I am for you and Shay. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding a yoga studio in Portland—hah! I can’t wait to visit one day.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

All my love,

Dad

PS: Tell your sister I’m thinking about her.

I stay there for a long time sitting among the presents, the tree looming large behind me. Hours later, I finally return to our shared room, and I’m relieved that Mona’s fast asleep as I slip into bed beside her.

My local coffee shop is busier than I expect it to be the day after Christmas; the line is so long that I consider turning around and just going for a cold, miserable walk instead. It would certainly suit my mood.

But the café is blessedly warm, and the smells of their signature dark roast and freshly baked pastries fill my nose. So I secure myself a table, brave the line, and wait patiently for a mug to warm my fingers on.

The barista flashes me a friendly smile as they hand over my mocha before turning to grab another order. They hold out a to-go tray with three drinks and a muffin and call out the customer’s name.

“Arthur?”