Page 72 of Strange Lights

Before I realize I’m doing it, I’m going through the old motions again, putting a plan together to leave. It’s the only way. Though it’s never worked before, I find the cockroach of hope is hard to squash, even beheaded and stomped upon. It’s far past time I took my sisters and left: I’m twenty-five, Zara fifteen, Meredith eight. We’ll take the boy with us. I make preparations quickly and tell both Zara and Meredith. Luca’s phone number and email address are a mantra I repeat daily. We’re leaving. I’ll face the problem of the Gauntlet once I leave. Surely distance from Adele will keep her from using it. And if she loses herself once we go, well, I can’t be responsible for her anymore.

There’s a strange Winnebago in the motley collection of vehicles Adele has acquired for one reason or another over the years. We’re taking that. Not only is it practical; it feels friendly. Maybe it’s silly to base such a decision on a bit of intuition, an imaginary voice in my head chiming friend, helper, friend, but I don’t care. I move a few sentimental items in preparation: Meredith’s cactus, Luca’s old shirt. Small things⁠—I’m afraid to do more in case we’re being monitored. The next time Adele is busy with her weather bullshit, we’re running. Meredith and Zara will leave through the secret tunnel in Adele’s room. I’ll grab the boy and the Winnebago, and meet my sisters at the outer door, where I can unlock it and let them out.

The little boy looks up warily as he always does when I visit. He is no longer terrified of me, but this time, I need to win his full trust.

“Hey,” I say as I pull off my mask and sit down at the front of his cage as if this were a casual conversation. He scrambles toward the back corner, wrapping himself in his blanket, as far from me as he can get. Hissing like a cat and baring sharp fangs, he flexes a row of spiky protrusions along his spine. I don’t have time for coddling and coercion. Either he’s desperate enough to accept my help or he isn’t.

“I’m Reggie. I’m going to get you out soon. You don’t have to like me, but you’ll have to trust me if we’re all going to get out of here. I know I don’t deserve your trust, but unfortunately, I’m all you’ve got.”

He eyes me suspiciously but wanders a little closer to peer at me, inspect my face.

“I’ll open up this cage either way before I go. If you want to be on your own, that’s your problem. But if you want my help, I need to know you can promise me a few things. Nod or something if you understand.”

“I understand,” he says in a quiet voice. I’m surprised, but this makes things easier. He sounds much older than he looks, like a teenager, not a toddler.

“Adele, that woman who brought you here, she’s bad.”

“Obviously,” he snorts disdainfully, and glares at me. “But you work for her.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. She is my mother. I didn’t know how to stop her. But I’m done now. She made me hurt my sister⁠—” My throat closes, and I can’t force more words out. But the boy seems to understand. He nods with eyes that are too old for a baby.

“She’s a beast wearing a human skin.”

I nod because that sounds about right. “We’re all getting out of here.”

“I don’t trust you. But I will cooperate with you. I want out.” He doesn’t sugarcoat things as he bargains for his survival.

“Fair enough. I need to know you aren’t dangerous. I don’t think you are, but I want you to promise me. My two sisters, they’re going to come with us, and you can’t hurt them or me.”

“I understand brothers and sisters. Of course, I won’t hurt them; I’m not a beast. But I won’t let you hurt me,” he says, perfectly enunciating the words, looking offended.

“Okay, good. I didn’t think so, but I needed to be sure. Next, I need you to look a little more human, stop with the rainbow skin thing. We’ll have to hide.”

He doesn’t answer but looks at me and bares his teeth, and I watch the fangs disappear, and his skin stops pulsing fantastical colors, settling as Zara’s exact shade of brown. His features shift until he looks like he could be Zara’s brother. An expert mimic.

“As soon as it’s time to go, I’ll come down here for you. Deal?”

“Deal,” he agrees.

31

Nature or Nurture

I’m lying in the desert, rivulets of water swirling around me, lightning striking nearby. I can’t move; my body is a heavy weight, tears as hot as acid tracking down my face.

Zara, Meredith, Luca.

I repeat the litany of names in my head, the reasons I have to get up. The little boy splashes in the mud puddles around me, happily gallivanting despite the fiercely raging storm.

Someone else stalks closer at the edges of my sight, wearing my mask.

I try to warn the boy, but I can’t wrench my mouth open.

The figure is right behind him now, carrying that weapon, the one I created, my biggest regret. The Gauntlet.

Reggie!

A chorus of voices yells. Zara and Meredith are with me, too, each reaching to grasp one of the boy’s hands.