Page 1 of Bless My Heart

CHAPTER ONE

HAZEL

Why is it not socially acceptable to spend every weekend snuggled up in bed with popcorn and movies? I did real adult things all week — I got my oil changed, went for my annual check-up at the gyno, and paid all of my bills. I should be allowed to spend Friday night through Sunday night laying in bed, wallowing in my own self-pity. Plus, I’m just getting over a sinus infection. Thank God for antibiotics.

But no, my two best friends, Caroline and Lexi, have taken it upon themselves to ruin my perfectly good weekend plans. I should have told them I was going to see my parents or something so they wouldn’t have shown up at my door right when I was pulling a freshly popped bag of popcorn out of the microwave.

“Come on, Hazel! Please come out with us tonight. You need to get out more,” Caroline informs me as she finishes reapplying her under-eye concealer. She has a two-year-old and a six-month-old at home, so she almost always looks tired. Probably because she is. I don’t know how she does it.

“Why do I need to get out more?” I ask. I’ve already crawled back into my bed, ready to hit play on Disney + to watch Avengers: Endgame for like the fifth time.

“Well, because school is about to start back, so you are going to be super busy. Plus, look at you. It’s been three months since you and Jordan broke up, and you’re still moping around,” Lexi tells me. She’s always been the one out of the three of us to tell it like it is and not sugar coat how she feels or worry about hurting anyone’s feeling. Lexi calls it tough love. I call it being a Sour Patch Kid.

Jordan is a touchy subject. Everyone has been walking on eggshells around me for the past three months, trying not to bring him up. Well, everyone except Lexi, obviously. We were together for four years. Four freaking years! I thought we would be together forever, but one day, he woke up and decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore. That jerk. Who needs him, anyway?

“Lexi is right. You need to get back out there. There are plenty of guys out there who would be lucky to have you.”

I roll my eyes. “Please. Look at me. I’m a freaking mess. No one is going to want this right now. I’m not emotionally ready for that,” I say, popping another handful of popcorn into my mouth.

“Who said you have to jump right into a relationship?” Lexi asks while she helps herself to my straightener to fix the ends of her short blonde bob. “You just need to get laid by someone who isn’t Jordan to help get you out of your slump.”

“I’m sorry, you do realize you’re talking about me, Hazel Greenwood, serial monogamous dater?” It’s true. I’ve always gone from relationship to relationship. I’ve never casually dated or had a one-night stand in my life. It’s not for me. I like to connect with someone emotionally before handing my body over on a silver platter.

Caroline married her college sweetheart, and Lexi is the queen of casual hookups. I don’t think she’s ever really been in a relationship. She always tells us she doesn’t have time for all that while getting her e-commerce business up and running.

“Well, maybe you need to try something different. Obviously, your way isn’t working since you’re sitting in your bed on a Saturday night, in ten-year-old sweatpants, eating popcorn.”

“Ouch, Lex.”

“I’m just saying—maybe having a random hook-up will be good for you. Get the blood flowing, literally and figuratively.” I crinkle my nose at Lexi’s sexual innuendo and throw a piece of popcorn at her.

Caroline sits down next to me and gives me her big, brown puppy dog eyes. “Plus, it’s the only night that Conner could watch the kids so that I could have a girls’ night. Please don’t ruin it for me. I haven’t been out in so long.” She bats her eyelashes at me and sticks out her bottom lip.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll go. But I’m not hooking up with a rando, ok? I’m only going to be a good friend to you, Caroline, and help you find some ass, Lexi. That’s it.”

“I’ll take what I can get!” Caroline stands and does a little clap. “Ok, let’s get you dressed and dolled up.”

“I think we can skip the ‘dolled up’ part of the evening,” I say, knowing it’s going to be a mental struggle to even get these sweatpants off me. They’re basically part of my body at this point.

“Oh, no, you don’t. Go big or go home, Hazel. You agreed to go out with us, so you can’t go looking like freaking Oscar the Grouch,” Lexi says. She pushes me into my walk-in closet, which was was a pleasant surprise when I was touring one-bedroom apartments in the area. It’s looking a lot more empty these days now that Jordan took all the clothes he kept here back to his own apartment.

“Come on. We’re going down to Breezers near the beach. You need to look hot.”

“No, I don’t. I told you I’m not trying to impress anyone tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just see where the night takes us, shall we?” I know I won’t win this battle. It’s two against one. So, I let my two best friends play dress-up with me until they’re satisfied. In the end, I have to admit that I look good. It’s been a long time since I’ve really gotten dressed up.

They put me into a short, white sundress with a little triangle cutout right below my boobs. Caroline somehow found the nude wedges I threw in the back of the closest a few months ago because I’m not a huge fan of heels. I’d rather wear my Chucks any day, but at least wedges are easier to walk in than actual heels.

Lexi curls my shoulder-length brown hair into loose waves so the purple I have on the underside of my hair is popping out. I’m not sure why she bothered, to be honest. With the summer humidity in Georgia, there’s no way this curl will hold, but whatever. It felt nice getting my hair done, so I just let it happen.

They both go full-on with my make-up. The winged eyeliner, double application of mascara, and all the blended eyeshadow on my eyelids is way more than what I would normally wear. I was prepared to see a clown in the mirror when they finally let me look. But I actually look …good.

I usually feel like I look good, but I look really good tonight. They had a purpose for doing this. I know they want me to get laid to move on from Jordan, but it’s just not that easy. I was with one man for four years, and now I’m just supposed to jump right into dating with small talk and get to know you questions? It’s just weird.

But, alas, everyone is happy with the final product. Lexi orders us an Uber because she says we’re celebrating being women tonight and need to drink. I’ll never turn down a celebration of women.

It takes us about twenty minutes to get to Breezers, the place is already packed. I hear the music pumping from the speakers before we even get out of our car.