Page 115 of Bless My Body

joins Dad and me back at the table.

“So, what’s really bugging you?” she asks, giving me a look telling me she knows I’m hiding

something.

I take a deep breath. “So… there’s this boy.”

Dad clears his throat. “I think that’s my cue to go. As much as I love you, baby girl, I don’t wanna

hear about any boys. Not with my girl.” He stands, kisses my head, and backs away from the table. I

smile at him in appreciation. I love my dad, but having this conversation will definitely be easier with

just Mom.

Once he’s gone, Mom says, “Ok. A boy?”

“Yeah. Ezra. You remember Ezra?” She nods. She’s never actually met him, but I’ve talked about

him enough that she definitely knows who he is. “Well, we started hooking up for fun. A “no strings

attached” kind of thing. We agreed to do it for thirty days and then go back to being just friends.” Mom

cringes. She always wanted me to save myself for marriage like she did. She lost her shit when she

found out I lost my virginity. I know she doesn’t like the idea of casual sex, but she keeps her speech

to herself while I continue with my story. “But after the first time, it just felt like more. I don’t know

how to explain it. But I couldn’t bring myself to hook up with anyone else after him. And every time

we’ve been together, it’s been so good. You know?”

She is dying inside at this conversation, but she hangs tight while I continue.

“And then he asked me to go to this party at his parent’s house. He didn’t want to go with someone

his mom picked out for him. He wanted someone fun, so he asked me. But being there, watching him

interact with all those people and seeing what his life is like beyond what I know gave me all sorts of

feelings. Like Ezra isn’t just a kid anymore. He’s an adult. He has a plan for his life. Being with him

that night made me feel like maybe I could be a part of his plan. I wanted to be part of his plan. He

made me feel safe and loved.”

“Well, what’s wrong with that?”

I bite the inside of my cheek before answering. “Everything. I don’t want a boyfriend, especially

not now when my life is basically just starting. I’m terrified of commitment. And then when we were

leaving …” I trail off, feeling embarrassed just thinking about what his mom said to me.

“What? What happened?”

“His mom pulled me aside and told me I needed to let him go so he can find someone who is good