Page 27 of Bittersweet Redemption

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Saturday starts just as I would expect it to. I’m up and out the door to the salon just in time for my first client. I color, highlight, wash, cut, blow-dry, and curl all day. I don’t even stop for lunch because time is money, and I need the money, so I take a walk-in when I would normally take my break.

Kayla is working with me today, so we have a pretty good time chatting with each other and the clients. I always like when she’s working. It makes the day pass so much faster. Not that I don’t like my other co-workers, but Kayla pushes me out of my shell, which I need sometimes.

I’m no expecting to see Kai’s car when I pull back up to the house. His brother’s wedding is tonight, so I assumed he would be gone most of the day. I could be wrong, though, since he hasn’t actually said a word to me in almost a week now.

I walk through the front door and hear a drawer slam shut.

“Hello?” I say as I round the corner into the kitchen.

Kai is standing there searching through a drawer. Kai being home when he’s supposed to be gone is strange enough, but it’s even more unusual because he’s wearing a freaking tuxedo. Bowtie and all. And when I tell you Kai in regular clothes is a sight to see, Kai in a tuxedo is freaking amazing. I take a step back just from the shock of how good he looks.

Once I get over the initial shock of a tuxedoed Kai, I realize his brows are furrowed, and his hands move frantically through the drawers like he’s looking for something.

“Is everything ok?”

“Shit. No.” He slams his hands on the counter. “Kellan put me in charge of the rings, and I can’t remember where I fucking put them.”

“Oh, no. Ok, I’ll help you look.” I pull open another drawer and start shifting things around. “What color is the box?”

“It’s like a navy blue,” he says, his voice strained. I know he and his brother are close, and I imagine it would kill Kai to disappoint him.

I move to another drawer. “Are you sure it’d be in the kitchen? Have you looked anywhere else?”

He scrubs his hands down his freshly shaven face. It’s not the time to notice this, but he’s absolutely stunning. The sharp cut of his jawline is striking. Shaking the thought from my head, I look back in the drawer I’m searching.

“No, I came straight in here when I came back home. I was halfway to the venue when I remembered the fucking rings. I don’t know. . . maybe my bedroom?” He starts walking that way, and I follow without a second thought. We’ve got to find these rings, and it’ll go faster with two sets of eyes looking.

We walk into his bedroom, and it’s so much different from what I expected. His bed is large and plush, with navy blue bedding. He has a dark wood bed frame, dresser, and nightstands with a TV mounted to the wall. It’s a nice room. Very manly. Very him. I think I expected it to be a mess and uncoordinated because that’s how Nick was, and he’s the only man I’ve ever been with. But Kai is not Nick, so I should’ve known his room would be put together just like the rest of his house.

Kai heads for his dresser drawers, and I go to the nightstand closest to me. This must be his side of the bed because the TV remote is over here, along with some lotion and a water bottle.

Opening the drawer, I’m met with a box of condoms and a bottle of lube, and a sinking feeling hits the pit of my stomach. I have no right to feel jealous. Kai is definitely not mine. But I can’t deny that I’m attracted to him. I’m attracted to the way he is with my son. I’m attracted to the fact that even though he hates me, he’s helping me. I’m attracted to the way I catch him looking at me sometimes, like he can’t decide if he’s disgusted by me or he wants me. All of it, all of him, is attractive.

But seeing the condoms and knowing he’s using them with other women makes my face heat. I’m sure every woman he’s with is stunning and has their lives together. Definitely not a struggling single mom. To torture myself even more, I try to think of the last woman I saw come out of Kai’s house. I wrack my brain, but the only memory I have is from the first weekend Roman and I moved in. I wonder if that’s the last time he’s slept with someone? It’s none of my business, but I’m dying to know.

I swallow and push past the box of condoms. I’ve got to remember the mission here—find the ring. Once I’ve thoroughly looked through that drawer, I move to the one underneath, which is filled with Kai’s underwear. The universe has to be playing a cruel trick on me. First the condoms and now the underwear. I push around all the dark-colored boxer briefs until I spot a small blue box in the back.

I pull it out. “Found it!”

“Thank fuck,” Kai says, his voice full of relief.

He comes over to me and takes the box, grazing my fingers ever so slightly, but it sends a shiver down my spine. He opens it, and we both stare at the diamond band. It’s gorgeous, and I imagine it will look beautiful on Riley’s finger.

“Why did you put it in your underwear drawer?” I ask.

He shrugs. “I can’t remember. I guess I thought I wouldn’t lose it if it was somewhere I looked every day.”

I laugh, and he shuts the ring box. He looks at me hesitantly, like he wants to say something or tell me something important. But instead, he says, “Thanks for helping me.”

Shoving my hands in my front pockets and rocking back and forth on my heels, I nod and say, “Yeah, no problem.” It’s no big deal that I’ve just gone through his underwear and found his stash of condoms. Sure.

He stares at me for a moment longer, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. My gaze moves up to meet his, and my breath hitches. His eyes are filled with something I can’t place, but I have a feeling if I was anyone else, he might lean down and kiss me. And god, I want that. I want it so badly. But since I’m me, he blinks, and whatever desire he might have had is replaced with indifference.

He turns and walks out, leaving me standing in his empty bedroom. The front door opens and shuts, and then silence. Not sure what to do now, I fix the underwear I dug through in his nightstand. Then I go to the dresser where he’s ravaged through his T-shirts. I refold them and put them back in order. Once everything is in place, I shower, change into an oversized T-shirt, and make myself dinner. I video chat with Roman, who puts on a smile for me, but I can tell he wants to come home. Thankfully, it looks like he’s at Nick’s parents’ house tonight, so I can rest assured that he’s actually being taken care of.

I watch a romantic comedy, which is a bad idea because it makes me realize how alone I am. I haven’t been touched by a man in well over a year, and the last time I had sex was with Nick, and I didn’t even enjoy it.