Page 74 of Out of Place

10/30/23 1:37 AM

Olivia: I miss you so fucking much. This sucks.

11/1/23 10:13 AM

Olivia: How was your Halloween?

11/2/23 2:10 PM

Olivia: Is everything ok?

11/3/23 12:17 PM

Olivia: Ok. :(

* * *

I sit on my bed and stare at my phone, wondering why Landon has stopped responding to my texts as Serena recounts a party she went to without me last night. Besides one Halloween party, I haven’t gone to many parties at all since I’ve been back. It wasn’t even that fun. Probably because all I could think about was Landon and what he was doing and how I should be there with him instead of at this stupid party with these people I don’t even like.

I missed the pumpkins at Underwood Farms. I missed the hay rides. I wonder if Landon was one of the tractor drivers taking the kids from town down to the pumpkin patch. He’d be great at that.

I should’ve been there.

I’ve been back in New York for a month now, and nothing feels right. There’s nothing for me here. I thought everything would fall back into place when I got home, but nothing is the same.

I’m not the same.

“Are you even listening to me?” Serena asks with her hands on her hips.

“No, not really. Sorry,” I admit.

She sighs and sits next to me. “What is going on with you lately? It’s like you’re not even here.”

My eyes stay focused on my blank phone screen. “I. . . I don’t think I want to be here, Ser.”

“You wanna go stay with your mom and dad? I can text your driver.” She reaches for my phone.

“No. No. . . I don’t think I want to be here. In New York.”

She rubs my back, understanding setting in. “You want to go back to Georgia? Back to the farm?”

“I think so.” It feels weird admitting it out loud, but I think that’s what I want.

“Maybe we could go for a long weekend? Get it out of your system? I’m sure your dad wouldn’t mind if we took the plane,” she suggests.

I shake my head. “No, not for a weekend. I think I want to live there. I want to live on the farm. I want to work with the guys and go to the farmers market and eat at the terrible food trucks. I want to line dance on the sticky floor of Cowboy’s. I want to sit and do puzzles and watch TV with Dottie. ”

She looks at me for a long minute before saying, “You’re sure? You should think really hard about this. There’d be no department stores. No nail salons. No poke bowls.”

“I can always visit New York, but I’ve just felt so empty since I left the farm. I feel like I have no purpose here. I know I have you, and I love you. But I can’t keep going out like we used to. I don’t like it anymore. I don’t want to be a buzzkill.”

“Does this have anything to do with a certain cowboy?” she asks, smirking.

“Yeah. Yeah, it does. I love him, Serena. I love him so much. I think I would regret it my whole life if I didn’t give us a shot.”

She lets out a deep breath. “Alright, well, what do we need to do to get you back there?”

I smile for the first time in days, my heart beating fast at the prospect of going back. “I need to make some calls.”