Page 89 of The Penalty

But Kylie has finally agreed to come home to talk. I asked for fifteen minutes of her time, and she responded with a simple ‘Ok.’

I’ll take what I can get.

I gave her a time and hoped she’d come. I’ve been sitting at the kitchen table for almost twenty minutes when I finally hear the front door open. A few seconds later, Kylie walks into the kitchen. She looks just like she always does in a cute outfit, her hair perfectly done. She’s my Kylie, only without the smile she usually has when she sees me.

“Kylie.”

She doesn’t say anything, just takes a seat across from me and clasps her hands in front of her like we’re in a meeting or something. I shouldn’t feel this nervous to have a conversation with my child, but here we are.

She raises her eyebrows at me, clearly ready to get this over with.

“I’m sorry,” I say lamely. I’ve gone over what I want to say a thousand times but none of it comes out.

She scoffs. “Sorry for what you did, or sorry you got caught?”

I shake my head. “No, I never wanted to keep this from you forever. We wanted to tell you. We just weren’t sure how.”

“Because you know it’s wrong.” She doesn’t phrase it as a question.

“I. . . I understand why it seems wrong, but McKenzie and I have a connection that I’ve never had with anyone before.”

“You’re telling me there isn’t a woman your own age in this entire world that you could find a connection with?”

“Kylie, I’ve dated plenty of women. I’ve tried. I was fine being alone. And I certainly wasn’t looking for a girlfriend or anything right now. But then I got to know McKenzie, and I wanted more. I should’ve told you sooner. I know that. But I was being selfish. Figuring things out. I handled it badly.”

“No shit.” She shakes her head. “She needed a place to stay. You took her in.”

I think she’s forgetting that she’s the one who brought her in. Not me. But now is not the time to bring any of that up. “I know. But everything that happened between us was consensual. I didn’t use McKenzie for anything like that.”

“Are you still seeing her?” she asks.

“I’ve only seen her once since you left, and it was brief.”

“Let me rephrase. Are you going to keep seeing her?”

“I’d like to,” I admit.

“What’s holding you back? You clearly don’t care about my feelings.”

“We do care, Kylie. You are the most important person in my life. You always have been and always will be. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“How am I ever supposed to trust you again? Either of you? You were going behind my back for God knows how long with my best friend. I don’t see how you could do that if I was so important to you.”

I sigh. “I was scared, Ky. I just got you back and have loved that we were rebuilding our relationship. And then there’s McKenzie, who is getting to know me on a different level. She listened, and I started falling in love with her without even realizing it. It just felt right being with her. But I knew I was risking everything by crossing that line with her. You, my job, my life as I knew it. It was terrifying.”

“But you still did it?”

I nod. “I’m willing to risk everything except for you. I don’t care if I get fired. I don’t care if I’m never able to coach football again. But I do care if you walk out of my life.”

Her brows furrow. “You’re willing to give up football for McKenzie?”

“Yes.” The answer is simple. I would walk away today if it meant I got to be with McKenzie every day for the rest of my life.

“You wouldn’t even give up football for Mom.”

“Kylie, your mom and I were never a good match. Yes, I loved her as a person. She’s a great mother. But I was never in love with her. There’s a big difference there.” Kylie was so young that she doesn’t remember how hard Shae and I tried, but in the end, we were hurting everyone by trying to force something that wasn’t there.

“So. . . you’re in love with McKenzie?”