Page 10 of Crossed Lines

I don’t even recognize myself. Willow definitely noticed something was off yesterday, too. Even after three years, she still knows me. But I couldn’t very well admit it’s because it felt like I was seeing her for the first time. She’s an adult now, and she’s absolutely stunning. Even her smile looked wider and brighter than I remembered it. Like she’s let go of the heavy weight sitting on her shoulders. Getting out of Blue Haven was good for her.

I can’t be attracted to her, though. Or I suppose I can be attracted to her, but I sure can’t do anything about it. All this is going to do is torture me.

I shake the thought from my head. I’ll make myself move past this. I can be attracted to someone and not act on it. It’ll be fine. It’s only for the summer anyway.

There’s a soft knock on the front door. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and head to open it.

Willow greets me with a sleepy smile. “I don’t know how you do this every day.”

I chuckle. She looks so cute this morning with her tired eyes and sleep-flushed cheeks. “Well, it’s not every day, but I guess you get used to it after a while.”

She lets out a sleepy groan as she walks past me and into the house. She’s wearing cotton shorts today and a plain, pale yellow T-shirt. Her hair is down and a little messy, and I try my absolute best not to get a whiff of it when she passes by me, but the floral scent floats to my nose anyway.

“There’s coffee in the pot if you want some,” I offer.

She puts her bag down by the couch. “Mmm, yes please.”

She walks into the kitchen and finds the cabinet with the coffee mugs on the first try. I’m surprised she remembered where they were.

She pours herself a mug before opening my fridge and pulling out the creamer.

“So, do you have anything planned for the day?” I ask her, keeping my voice low so I don’t wake Jade.

“I thought I would see if Jade had anything she wanted to do first. If not, I’ve got some crafts in my bag that we can do. I also brought my bathing suit in case she wanted to go swimming.”

Willow in a bathing suit. Nope, not going there. Thank god I’m busy today so I won’t be anywhere near the pool. The last thing I need is to feed this sudden attraction by seeing her in a bikini.

“I’m sure Jade will love that. She should be up within the hour. There’s plenty of breakfast stuff, so she can just pick what she wants. Do you still have my number in case something happens?” I ask.

“It’s the same as before, right?”

I nod. “Yep.”

Willow and I used to communicate every day. Not in a friendship sort of way or anything, but in case she needed a ride somewhere or food on days Sawyer was working late. After Jade was born, she’d ask me to send pictures occasionally. All very normal conversations. But once she moved away for school, there wasn’t really a need for us to text other than a few check-in texts during her first year away. She was busy. I was busy. We just drifted apart.

We drifted so far apart that I didn’t even think about her turning into an actual adult woman now. A very beautiful woman.

“Then, yes, I’ve got it. But I’m sure everything will be fine,” she assures me.

She smiles from behind the coffee mug, and I have to look away. Because I’m a fucking loser checking out a woman twelve years younger than me.

“Alright, well. I guess I’ll get going then.” This is weird. I’m making this so awkward.

“Have a good day, Beck.”

I grab my coffee and my lunch from the kitchen table. “Yeah. You too.”

Then I book it out of my own house, needing desperately to get out of there. My house that I built, my house that I love and have made a home, suddenly feels too small for me and Willow to both be in.

Once I’m able to clear my head, my day goes by very uneventfully. My first order of business is to take care of the horses. My stable hand, Carson, helps with cleaning the stalls, then we get started on trail rides for the day. We’re fully booked up today, so even Brooks does a few rides with us.

By the time four rolls around, I’m exhausted and covered in sweat and dirt. My seasonal stable hands, Trevor and Ace, take over for Carson and me so we can head on home for the day. There were some days that I spent my entire day at the stables, sun up to sun down, and I loved it. But on days like today, I’m run ragged, and I still have to get home to Jade. This is the first and maybe only summer I’ll have her for the entire time. I want to make sure that I get to spend as much time with her as I can. I know she’s only six, but the years are flying by. Before I know it, she’ll be a teenager who wants nothing to do with me. I want to soak up these years while I can.

When I open the front door of my house, loud music assaults me. And not just any music. No, it’s the Frozen soundtrack that has been on repeat in our house for the last six months. The girls are both jumping around, singing at the top of their lungs. I can’t help but smile as I slide my boots off by the door. It takes me walking into the kitchen to put my lunch box down for either of them to even realize that I’m there.

“Oh!” Willow gasps when she finally sees me. She stops dancing and turns the volume down on the song. “Sorry, didn’t hear you come in.”

“Well, don’t let me break up this dance party.”