Page 36 of Crossed Lines

“You can, Beck. I wanted it.”

“That doesn’t matter. We can’t do this. I can’t do this.” I can’t do this because I know what it would mean for my friendship with her brother, but also because I know it’ll only make me want more. And I can’t have more.

“Beck, you know I’m not going to run off and tell my brother, right? Whatever happens between us can stay between us.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Willow. I can’t.”

She sighs. “That’s a shame. I guess I’ll just have to take care of myself later then.”

I swallow, my mind immediately going to images of Willow pleasuring herself. As much as I’d love to be the one doing it, I know I can’t. And I’d rather her touch herself than find someone else to do it. That might be my last straw.

We stand frozen, staring at each other for what feels like forever before she sighs again and shakes her head, turning around and walking back inside.

“Fuck.” I kick the side of the building, which doesn’t feel great even with my boots on. What the hell was I thinking, bringing her out here and doing that? I should’ve just let her do her thing and minded my own business. But no, I had to get possessive of a woman that isn’t even mine.

Once I calm myself down enough, I walk back inside and find my table. Sawyer is still talking to someone, so I doubt he even noticed how long I was gone.

I immediately scan the room for Willow. She’s back on the dance floor, new drink in hand, with Macy on one side of her and Ace on the other. He says something to her, and she laughs and puts her hand on his chest.

She’s doing it on purpose. She knows I’m watching her, and she knows it’s going to make me jealous.

I grab my beer and chug the rest of it. I know I’m going to need another to get through this night.

I’ve lost count of how many times I ventured to the bar tonight. At some point, Sawyer took notice and switched to water to make sure one of us would be able to drive home.

I should’ve left hours ago.

I should’ve left when Willow took Ace’s hand. I should’ve left when they started dancing together. I definitely should’ve left when I watched her type her phone number into his phone.

But I didn’t. I sat there watching it happen, feeling my insides twist up.

For some stupid reason, I couldn’t leave until I knew Willow was leaving. Maybe some part of me wanted to wait to see if she decided to leave with him. The thought of that makes me feel sick to my stomach. Or maybe that’s from all the beer.

Eventually, Sawyer decides when it’s time for us to leave.

“Alright, big guy. I think it’s time to head home.”

“It’s not that late,” I counter, even though I know I need to go home.

“It’s pretty late, and you’re pretty trashed, man. You doing ok? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you drink like this.” Yeah, I can’t even remember the last time. Maybe when Gemma and I ended things? Drinking isn’t fun anymore when you have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and go to work with a pounding headache.

“I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind, I guess.”

He nods as if he understands, and I know he does. When he lost his parents, he spiraled a little bit. I let him do it but stayed by his side the entire time to make sure it didn’t go too far. Now he’s returning the favor. Because this is what friends do.

“You know you can talk to me,” he says. If he only knew how much I absolutely cannot talk to him about this. How could I possibly explain that the thought of his sister being with any man except for me makes it feel like my heart is ripping in two?

“I’m good, man. But thank you.”

“Alright, I’m gonna go get Willow and Macy. They’re just as wasted as you.”

My shoulders immediately relax. Of course, Sawyer wouldn’t let Willow go home with Ace. I should’ve thought of that.

I watch him walk toward the girls and say something to them. Willow nods while Macy looks at him like he hung the moon. I wonder if that’s how I look at Willow. If I’m that obvious.

Ace makes a move and leans in to give Willow a hug. She hugs him back, and he kisses the side of her head. His lips were just on her body.

Yeah, he’s getting fired.