Page 40 of Crossed Lines

I walk around his truck and get into the driver’s seat of my car. I turn the car on, but I don’t leave yet. I wait for Beck to go first and then look over at Macy.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, knowing I’m upset without me even having to say anything.

“What’s there to talk about? We keep going in this stupid circle of I want you but I can’t have you. It’s so frustrating.”

“Listen, babe. I know it’s tough. Especially when you have to see him every day. But you have like thirty more days here, and then we’ll be traipsing through the streets of Italy having the time of our lives. I’m sure there will be some Italian men who would love to make sure your needs are met.”

“Oh my god, Mace.” I laugh.

“I’m just saying. If you and Beck can’t agree on a temporary situationship type of thing, then maybe it’s best you leave it alone for now. It’ll be easier to leave in August if you don’t have actual feelings for the guy.”

My silence says everything she needs to know.

“Oh no, Willow. Do you already have feelings for him?” she asks.

“No,” I say quickly. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just, I’ve known him almost my whole life. I know what kind of man he is, and seeing him again after so many years brought back my teenage crush and then some. He’s just… the perfect man.”

“Ok, well, first things first. No man is perfect.” This makes me laugh. “But really, the timing isn’t right. You still have a year left of school, and then who knows what’s going to happen after that. Beck is here in Blue Haven. He’s settled with a kid for god’s sake.”

“Yeah, but I love his kid.”

She sighs. “I know you do. But can you honestly say that you’re ready to jump into potential stepmom territory? Because that’s what it’ll be with someone Beck’s age who has a kid.”

My shoulders slump. She’s right. I know she’s right, which makes this all feel so much worse. I wipe the tears from my cheeks. I have no idea when I started crying, but I think I needed to get it out. It’s like I’m mourning a relationship that never happened.

“No, you’re right, Mace.”

“This is one time I hate to be right. I hope you know that. And who knows? Maybe in a few years, after you’ve graduated and figured out what it is you really want, the two of you might find each other again.”

I nod, agreeing with a quiet, “Yeah.”

Ready to end this conversation, I wipe my face again before buckling my seat belt. I reverse out of my spot without looking at Macy. I know she’s watching me. I know she cares about me. But it’s all too much right now.

Who knew that a summer at home to earn some extra money would lead to heartbreak instead?

CHAPTER 16

Beck

The first few days after the festival were awkward to say the least. Willow didn’t say much to me, which hurt more than I care to admit. I understand why she needs to distance herself. It’s the smart thing to do after all.

But now it’s started to wear on me. I miss her smile in the morning. I miss her hanging out a little after I get home to talk about our days. And I especially hate seeing Jade’s smile fall every time Willow runs out of the house as soon as I get home.

So, today I decided to fix it. Avoiding eye contact with me this morning was the last straw. I have to do something. Just because we can’t be together in the way we both want doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

When I get home from work, I walk inside with my head held high, ready to confront her. Willow sees me and immediately drops the doll she was holding while playing with Jade. She starts to stand up to say bye, but I stop her.

“Hey, would you like to stay for dinner tonight?” I ask.

“I—” She starts to reject me, I see it in her face, but as I’d hoped, Jade interrupts her.

“Yes. Willow. Please stay!”

See, I know Willow can’t say no to Jade. My daughter has Willow wrapped around her finger. She looks from Jade to me, and I see her resolve float away. “Sure. That sounds great.”

I nod. “Great. I’ll get started on dinner.” It’s nothing fancy. I’d planned to grill cheeseburgers, but I also know that Willow happens to love cheeseburgers, so it actually works out well.

I go wash up and change before I head to the kitchen. Once I’m in there, Willow walks in.