Page 61 of Crossed Lines

“You’re insane, you know that?”

“It’s becoming more and more obvious every day. Now come on. Let’s go ride.” He puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me to where Jade is waiting for us. He helps Jade onto her horse while I mount mine. Once he’s in his own saddle, he leads us away from the stables.

It’s hot today, but he takes us on a trail through the trees that provide enough shade to make it enjoyable. We’re quiet for most of the ride. Even Jade is, which is a sure sign that she’s upset. But neither Beck nor I push her on it. Maybe she just needs to feel her feelings for a little bit because, honestly, I think all of us are a bit sad.

By the end of the ride, I find myself wishing it weren’t over. The ride and the summer. When I came here in May, I was so excited about going to Italy and just hoped the summer would go by quickly. But now all I can think about is that I wish I had more time.

I’m still excited to go to Italy. Nothing has changed there. I know it’s something I need to do for myself, and I’m fully expecting to have the time of my life.

But something feels unfinished in Blue Haven, and I’m more and more certain that I’ll be back.

After we get back to the stables and say goodbye to Beck, Jade and I head to the house. I try to bring her spirits up by doing all of her favorite things. We run through the sprinkler to cool down, then I make her favorite lunch of chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese before we play the rest of the afternoon: dolls, dress up, dance party. You name it, we do it. I’m thoroughly exhausted by the time Beck gets home, but it’s all worth it because the frown on Jade’s face is long gone.

It’s late when he gets home, so I’ve already fed and bathed Jade. She’s lying on the couch watching a movie when the door opens. She’s so sleepy that she doesn’t even sit up. She lets out a weak, “Hey, Daddy.”

“Hey, kiddo.” He walks around the couch and places a kiss gently on her forehead. “You sleepy?”

She nods. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Goodnight, Jade,” I tell her quietly as Beck lifts her up.

“Night night,” she says, already half asleep. The two of them walk to her bedroom, and I clean up the mess we made this evening. Beck has told me so many times not to worry about any of that, but I don’t mind. Playing with Jade doesn’t really feel like a job, so the least I can do to earn my pay is to clean up.

Beck walks back out sooner than their bedtime routine usually takes.

“She fell straight to sleep,” he tells me.

“We did a lot today.”

I finish putting the last of her dolls in the basket Beck leaves in the living room for her and stand to face him. He’s giving me the look again. The look that makes it seem like he wants me. I hate that look because it makes me want him back even though I know he’s not going to let me have him.

“Thank you, Willow.”

“For what?”

He sighs. “Everything. Thank you for cleaning up. Thank you for watching Jade and keeping her safe. Thank you for loving her. Thank you for being patient with me.”

“You don’t have to thank me for any of that,” I tell him.

“I know, but I want you to know that this has been the best summer, for all of us.”

I smile at him, and he shakes his head, a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I guess I’m just being sentimental.”

“That’s ok. I like this version of Beck. Well, I like every version of Beck.”

He takes a few steps toward me, and I do the same to him until we’re standing almost chest to chest. He brings his hand up to my face and slowly tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “So beautiful,” he whispers.

I smile up at him and swallow when I see his hooded eyes.

“Can I just…” His words trail off as his eyes dip to my lips. I think he might actually kiss me. My heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest as he leans in so slowly. It’s torturous, really, how slow he moves. I want to meet him halfway, but I also don’t want to spook him. If I move too quickly, he might stop, and I certainly don’t want that.

Finally, I feel his lips touch mine. It’s gentle, barely a brush. He pulls away slightly and exhales as if he’s finally feeling some relief. Then the hand that was caressing the side of my face moves to the nape of my neck and pulls me closer.

His lips meet mine again, and this time they’re not as tentative. He presses hard into me, angling our faces just right. I let out an involuntarily moan as his tongue presses into my mouth and tangles with my own. We’ve gone all summer dancing around this. I’ve wanted to know what his lips felt like so badly, and now it’s finally happening. It almost feels like I’m dreaming.

I wrap my arms around his waist as his other hand moves to cup the other side of my face. Any thoughts I had about him being scared away are gone. Beck is kissing me like this is what he’s been needing his entire life. He’s gentle but forceful all at once. He takes my breath away over and over again, but I don’t mind at all.

He reluctantly pulls away from my mouth, but he doesn’t stop kissing me. He trails his lips down my neck and stops to suck gently behind my ear, sending a shiver through my spine.