Page 73 of Crossed Lines

Tonight, I wish I could’ve stayed on the phone with her longer, but Sawyer was on his way to get me. Sawyer and I have hung out a few times since Willow left, and each time feels more and more awkward for me. I hate hiding things from him, but I also don’t want to lose him. I can tell he thinks something is up with me, he just doesn’t know what it is. He’s checking in with me more during the week, asking if I’m ok. And now, he’s dragging me out to drink when he knows I don’t really want to.

“How’s Jade?” Sawyer asks once we’re sitting down with our beers.

Jade is a safe topic. I could talk about her all night. Sawyer was smart to start our conversation with her. And I think he genuinely wants to know how she’s doing. “She’s great. Really loving school this year. They get points for the amount of books they read from the library. She’s racking those up, man. I’m so proud of her.”

“Of course she is. She’s the smartest kid I know.”

I laugh. “Do you know a lot of kids?”

“No, she’s the only one, so I can say that with confidence.”

“Alright then.”

“I talked to Willow this week,” he says. I shift a little in my seat and try to keep my face calm. “She’s having a blast in Italy. I still can’t believe she didn’t tell me about it until the last minute.”

“I know,” I say, agreeing with him even though I understand completely why she did what she did.

“She said she went on a cheese tour,” he adds.

I already know about the cheese tour. Saw pictures too. She went last Saturday with Macy. Her favorite was the Asiago. But Sawyer can’t know that I know. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, she’s been busy though. Sounds like she’s learning a lot.”

“That’s great.”

“Yeah, it is.” He follows this up by telling me about the job he was working on all week before he stops and takes a swig of his beer. His eyes meet mine, and it looks like he’s nervous about something. Like he wants to ask me something. My heart starts racing, wondering if Willow mentioned something to him when they talked this week.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing, it’s just… I guess I wanted to ask something.”

“Well, spit it out then,” I say.

He blows out a breath. “You’ve seemed a little… not yourself recently. I was just wondering if maybe you need to get yourself back in the dating world again.”

I roll my eyes. “Not this again.” I swear he’s had this talk with me every year since Gemma and I split.

“I’m serious, Beck. You’re a relationship guy. You like commitment and yet you haven’t even tried to find a girlfriend since your breakup like six years ago.”

I decide to give him my usual excuse, which has been the truth up until recently. “Sawyer, I’m fine. I’m focusing on Jade right now.”

“Don’t you think Jade might like for you to have someone like her mom has someone?”

Yeah, she would because she flat-out told me that. But there’s also a specific someone she wants me with.

“My daughter doesn’t get a say in my dating life.”

He sighs. “Well, if you don’t want a girlfriend, what about a hookup buddy? I mean, when was the last time you got laid?”

A few months ago. With your sister. The absolute best night of my life, and no other woman would ever compare to her, but fuck, I can’t say that. “I’m taken care of, don’t worry about that.”

“Your hand doesn’t count, Beck,” he says with a laugh. “Come on. It might be fun. There’s tons of single women here tonight.”

“Sawyer, really⁠—”

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says.

“You have to.”