Page 86 of Crossed Lines

More silence.

“Well, I submitted my placement request for student teaching next semester. I’m really hoping to get second grade.”

Beck looks at me and smiles. “You’re going to be a great second grade teacher.”

“Thank you.” I smile back, and for the first time this evening, I can feel Sawyer watching us.

His fork drops and clinks against his plate. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

“What?”

“Y’all wanna talk, so let’s talk. The two of you are together, and you want me to be ok with it. So tell me why you think I should.”

Beck’s hand slips to my thigh and gives me a gentle squeeze. “We know this is asking a lot of you, Sawyer. And we understand it’s not going to be easy. It’s not been easy for us either. Your friendship means the world to me. I know you don’t believe that right now, but it does. I wasn’t planning on this. But I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I love Willow. Like I’m truly in love with her. I can’t picture my future without her.”

Sawyer shakes his head. “I can’t believe this is happening. I trusted you with her.”

“And you can still trust me with her. I swear I only want the best for her, and if it turns out to not be me, then that will be heartbreaking for me, but I would of course respect her decision.”

“Of all the women in Blue Haven, hell the state of Georgia, you had to pick my little sister?”

“I know. But I won’t apologize for loving her, Sawyer.”

Sawyer sighs and looks back and forth between the two of us. “Look, as you’ve both reminded me multiple times, you’re adults… although one of you is just barely an adult. I will respect your decision to be together, but I’m not going to be happy about it. Willow is my sister, so my relationship with her will always be there. But I can’t pretend that our friendship might look different for a little while.”

Beck nods, but I can tell by the way his shoulders sag a little that he didn’t want to hear that. “I understand.”

Sawyer picks his cutlery back up and starts cutting into his steak. “Steak’s good by the way.”

“Thanks,” Beck answers.

“What about my potatoes? Chopped liver?’ I ask.

“Potatoes are kinda hard to mess up, Wills,” Sawyer says. He’s teasing me which I’ll take as a good sign.

The rest of dinner is still a little awkward, but we try to bring up some safe topics in between the awkward silences. Sawyer doesn’t linger when he’s done eating. He quickly says his goodbyes and is on his way. The dinner went better than I thought it would to be honest. It obviously could’ve gone better, but I’ll take what I can get.

“Well?” Beck asks when we’re all cleaned up. “You think it went ok?”

“I think it went ok.”

For someone who is adamant about not wanting to put a label on what we are, he seems really happy that we aren’t keeping us a secret anymore. I know he’s not making me his girlfriend for my own sake. He wants to give me an out if I need one. But I know I’m not going to need one. I love this man, and he loves me. I believe we can get through anything. And while I don’t know where I’ll be after graduation, I’m going to try like hell to get a job close to Blue Haven.

He kisses me hard before lifting me up and carrying me back to his room. This is what I want. Nights with Beck and us loving each other. Creating a life together. Nothing sounds better.

CHAPTER 31

Beck

MAY

It’s been a long five months, and it’s hard to believe we’re finally at this point. Willow’s graduation day.

While I still refuse to say we’re officially together, we’ve been doing the whole long-distance thing since Willow went back to school for her last semester in January. I try to drive up to see her when I have a free day, and she comes to Blue Haven when she has a free weekend. And we try to talk at least once a day, even if it’s just a few texts here and there. It’s been hard, but we made it.

Today is the day we’ve both been waiting for. I’m so proud of her for making it here, and now she gets to decide where she wants her life to go. I can’t pretend I’m not a little nervous. I know she loves me and she’s made it clear that she wants to be with me, but there’s a tiny little spot in the back of my mind that’s preparing for her to leave. Maybe she wants to be a teacher somewhere besides Blue Haven. Maybe she wants to travel the world. I’m not sure. All I know is being away from her has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Jade insisted on coming to the graduation ceremony with me. I tried to talk her out of it, but Willow got her an extra ticket anyway. Sawyer came too. We did not ride together. We’re still not on the best terms. I’ve tried to extend a few invitations to hang out, but he always says he’s busy, so I’ve left it alone. We’ve seen each other around town a few times, and he’ll wave or say hello, but it’s not nearly like it used to be.