Page 118 of What We Burn

“References from who?” I giggle.

“People who would vouch for my enthusiasm. That’s all I’m saying.” He holds up a hand. “But look, I realize you’re already dealing with way more dick than vagina in this equation, so maybe having an extra bottom around would balance things out. I’m just putting that out there. Into the universe.”

“Oh my God.” I’m laughing so hard my ribs hurt.

“I’m serious! I could be the house twink. Every polycule needs one. I’d bring cultural enrichment and superior skincare routines.” He turns to Amy. “Hey—maybe you could take some of the dick for her too. Lighten the load.”

Amy’s face goes through about six colors. “I don’t—I mean—I’m not sure that’s my⁠—”

“You don’t have to answer now. It’s an open offer. Just think about it.”

“I’m not going to think about it, Jamie.”

“You’re already thinking about it. I can see the wheels turning.” He waggles his eyebrows. “Or should I say the dicks spinning?”

Amy opens her mouth, closes it, then opens it again. “I’m not saying I’m not curious. Because I am. A little. Conceptually. But the logistics still have me stumped.” She turns to me. “Like, okay. I wasn’t going to pry. But since Jamie brought it up I have to know—you can reasonably take three dicks, right?” She points to her mouth then makes a downward gesture with two fingers to her lower body. “But what are the other two doing while that’s happening? Do you, like, jack them off in your hands?” She gestures, jerking off air dicks. “Or are they just . . . standing there with their dicks in their hands? Do they watch? Do they take a number? Is there a queue system? Is there a waiting room? Do they get snacks? I need to know!”

“Amy—”

“Sometimes we suck each other’s dicks,” a voice says from behind us.

Every molecule of blood in my body relocates to my face.

I turn around. Eli is standing right there, arms crossed over his chest, with the patient, faintly entertained expression of a man who has been listening for a while.

“What the fuck, Eli?” I force out. “Is this how you show up? Eavesdropping on girl talk?”

Jamie and Amy stare at Eli.

Eli stands there, letting the horror percolate without so much as blinking.

He pins me with that look—the one that’s at once indulgent, exasperated, and hungry in a way that makes my knees want to audition for wet spaghetti.

“I—we should—” Jamie is looking between me and Eli as though he’s just realized the building is on fire and all the exits are behind the flames. “This was my idea. All of it. The mall, the movie, sneaking out—I talked her into it. She didn’t want to, I pushed.”

“Jamie, don’t⁠—”

“No, seriously. Sage said no like four times and I basically dragged her out the back door. It’s entirely my fault and I accept full responsibility. I would also like to state for the record that I think you’re all doing a great job with the . . . ” He waves his hand vaguely. “The watching thing. You’re all very thorough.”

“Apparently not thorough enough.” Eli’s gaze stays on me. Unmoved.

“Amy,” Jamie says, already backing toward the doors. “We should go. Give these two some space.”

Amy is still frozen, staring at Eli like he might start speaking in Latin like the demon child from the movie. “Yeah. We—I’ll—see you later, Sage.” She shoots me a look, equal parts panic and pleasure, like she can’t believe my boyfriend just confessed (bragged?) about ménage etiquette.

Then she herds Jamie past the ticket counter, the two of them nearly tripping over each other in their haste to escape.

I can hear Jamie mumbling, “Did you see his arms? They don’t make arms like that on regular people,” as they vanish.

Eli waits until they’re gone. In the suddenly empty space, he sighs. Runs a hand through his hair. For a full five seconds, we’re silent.

I fold my arms. “How long were you following us?”

“Since you left the diner. You weren’t exactly subtle, Sage.” His tone is flat, but I know that cadence—the measured control he deploys when he’s trying not to yell. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because all you do is say no.”

“With good reason,” he snaps before reining it in. “We’re not doing this here.”