Page 76 of What We Burn

He meets my eyes.

“It’s about what happens to the rest of us if something happens to you.”

I want to tell him he doesn’t get to use my safety as a leash when he’s the reason it was threatened in the first place. But the thing is—and I hate this—he’s not saying it to control me. He’s saying it because it’s true, and because it’s the one argument I can’t dismantle with logic or stubbornness or grinding on Milo in the back seat.

“That’s not fair,” I protest.

“No, it’s not.”

The quiet stretches, and I let them all think they’ve won, let the relief start settling into their shoulders, and then I open my mouth again because I’m not done.

“You know what else isn’t fair?” I say. “Every time something needs deciding, I get sent to the bar. Stuck out here with a babysitter while the five of you go behind that door and figure out my life without me in the room. The cover story you built for Brock—the one you built for me while I was in a coma. You decide where I sleep, who watches me, what I’m allowed to know—all of it decided on the other side of a door I’m not allowed through.” I plant my hands on the bar. “You want to talk about what happens to you if something happens to me? Then let me in the room where you talk about it. Because right now the only thing I’m trusted to do is sit on a stool and wait to be told what you decided.”

Nobody speaks.

“I’m not some civilian you’re protecting from the scary truth. I’m in this. I’ve been in this since the beach. I’m in your beds, in your lives, in love with every single one of you, and that means I worry about you the same way you worry about me. The only difference is you get to do something about it and I get to sit on a barstool.”

Eli’s jaw tightens. Micah’s thumb has gone still on the bar top.

“You’re describing a crew,” Holden says. “We’re not a crew, we’re five men and a body count, and every person who’s ever been in that room has⁠—”

“Has what? Chosen it?” I talk straight over the end of his sentence. “So am I.”

“Here’s the thing none of you want to hear.” I look at each of them in turn. “We’re stronger together. All of us. Not me tucked away somewhere safe while you go off and risk your lives, but together. Watching each other’s backs because that is what we do. You protect Micah. Micah protects Holden. Holden protects Milo. Knox protects everyone. It’s a chain. And right now I’m the missing link in that chain because you won’t let me be part of it.”

“Sage—” Holden starts.

“I’m not finished.” I hold up a hand. “You’re all connected. Everything you do affects everyone else. When Eli left, it didn’t just hurt me—it destabilized the whole group. When I got attacked, it wasn’t just my trauma—it was all of ours. We’re interconnected. Every single one of us. So this idea that you can separate me out, put me in a box marked ‘protect,’ and carry on like I’m not part of the organism? It doesn’t work. It’s never worked. And deep down, you all know that.”

The silence this time is different.

Milo is the first to crack. “She’s right. She’s annoyingly, devastatingly, inconveniently right.”

“Milo—”

“No, Holden. She is. We operate as a unit. That’s the whole point. That’s what makes us good. She’s part of the unit now. Keeping her out doesn’t make her safer. It just means we’re operating with a blind spot.”

Micah nods. “We all know she can handle a knife.”

“She killed a man and didn’t hesitate,” Knox adds.

Everyone looks at Eli.

He’s staring at his mug. The muscle in his jaw is working. I can see him fighting it—the instinct to shield, to control, to be the one who carries the heaviest thing so no one else has to.

He looks up. “You’re right. Keeping you out hasn’t kept you safe. It kept you alone.”

My throat tightens at his words. I grip the edge of the bar.

Holden pushes off the wall. His arms unfold. He looks at me for a long time.

“I’ve gotta be honest with you, wildcat,” he says. “This isn’t our decision to make.”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “But you can put in a good word for me, right?”

“We can. But you’re not getting a yes today. Not while there’s an active threat.”

“Holden—”