Page 41 of Emil

The conversation I’d had with Calvin the other night replayed in my head, and it dawned on me that Anders wasn’t really apologizing for falling asleep. He was apologizing because he wasn’t available. He wasn’t productive. He wasn’t useful.

“It’s not rude when someone’s worn out.” I reached across for his hand again, and he didn’t resist. I laced our fingers together, and he still didn’t pull away. I glanced up at him and noticed his breathing had stilled.

On impulse, I leaned across the console and carefully brushed my lips over his. His soft lips were slightly parted, and I resisted the real urge to deepen the kiss. The part of me that wanted that lost to the more level-headed side. His startled intake of breath made me pull back. His expression read surprise, but not unhappiness. His eyes were wide with shock, but he’d chased my mouth, so I leaned in and did it again. Still amazing.

“You’ve got to remember to breathe.”

“Under the circumstances, that’s hard to do,” Anders replied ruefully.

“Sorry, but I’m going to have to make that a new rule. You’ve got to keep breathing.”

Anders gave a small chuckle, but I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do, where to put his hands, or what to say.

“I’ll try.”

“We’ve got about twenty minutes before docking. Do you want to go up to the observation deck? Maybe we’ll get lucky and see a pod moving through.”

He nodded and was up and out of the passenger seat before I could even say I’d open his door. He went around the side of the car, and we made our way upstairs to the observation deck, which was empty this late at night. I was a little surprised not to see anyone, but I didn’t mind the privacy.

The wind whipped around us, and Anders shivered in the chilly ocean air. I moved closer and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He stiffened briefly, then melted into my side. I felt like some kind of conquering war hero when he lay his head on my shoulder. I tightened my hold and let the moment wash over me. I’d been right. Inevitable.

We stayed up on the deck until the warning bell blew, signaling it was time to return to our vehicles. I stepped away reluctantly, but captured his hand in mine and walked us back downstairs. This time, I made a point of walking him around to his side of the car and opening the door for him.

He reached for the handle to shut it, but stopped at my softly spoken command.

“No. Let me.”

Anders sat back in his seat and let me take care of him. It was small, almost inconsequential, but it let me show him, in the tiniest of ways, that I wanted to meet the moment.

I returned to the driver’s seat and slipped inside. Both of us were lost in our own thoughts, and we stayed quiet when the signal was given. I pulled off the ferry and headed toward home.

The pull of him was too strong, and the need to touch him was too much for me to withstand, so once again, I slipped my hand over the top of his. This time, fully awake, he turned his hand over so we were palm to palm, fingers laced. We drove the rest of the way home.

I pulled to a stop in the driveway of the main house. Anders, on instinct, moved to open his door, but drew his hand back when I cleared my throat.

“Good boy,” I murmured before I exited the car, went around to his side, and opened his door.

I offered my hand to help him out. Anders looked at my hand, then directly at me, before he slowly, deliberately placed his in mine. When he was out, he didn’t pull away.

We walked, hand in hand, over to the cottage. It felt a little high school, but not rushing Anders had become my mission tonight. The path was lit by solar lights that cast shadows across the clearing. No one’s parents were going to peek out a window, but it still felt like someone was watching.

“Thank you for tonight. It was the best night I’ve had in a very long time,” Anders offered softly. His voice was low and sweet, such a juxtaposition from what I’d expected. “Your friends are nice.”

“You and Micah are probably the only two people on Earth who’d describe Cal as nice,” I said with a chuckle. For whatever reason, we were both whispering, like we didn’t even want our conversation shared with the wind. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Would you like to do it again?”

“Yes.”

My breath came out in a single whoosh. I hadn’t realized I was holding it until I heard his answer.

“I’m going to resist the urge to pull out my phone and nail down a date in the calendar.”

Anders blushed and ducked his head. Christ, he was pretty. “We can do that in the morning if you want. I’ll be at the house.”

The second urge I resisted was the one that wanted to tell him he didn’t need to get up early and come over. I knew he’d immediately clock it as doing something wrong. There was no way in hell I’d let him think that.

“Good. I like seeing you when I wake up.”

Anders’s blush intensified. His lips were irresistible.