Page 48 of Emil

“I’ll answer your question when you answer mine.”

“It’s not your job.”

“It’s not yours either.” I realized that I might be pushing too hard on Anders, and I couldn’t articulate the payoff. And I felt kind of like an asshole. For the sake of my own ego, I wasn’t letting him do the thing that made him feel settled and safe. “Would you put together the salad while I finish the pasta?”

Anders’s brilliant smile told me I’d made the correct call. We settled into our roles. Anders chopped some veggies for the salad, and I worked on the garlic bread and pasta. When everything was ready, I carried the plates to the table. As was his habit, Anders handed me my napkin and utensils, then waited until I’d started eating before digging into his own food.

“How was the book club?”

“Oh, it was good. Micah and his friend…Bennett…Bailey… No, that’s not it…”

“Beckett?”

“Yes, thank you, that’s it. He’s an interesting guy.” Heh, Anders was being unfailingly polite. “But nice. Very quiet.”

“Yeah, he and Micah are pretty tight. Beckett is married to a social worker, Will, who works at the hospital. He’s a police officer here.”

“Yeah, Micah mentioned that. I think he’s just shy. He tried to make some small talk, though, after we got to the library, and I think it took a lot for him to try.”

“I don’t know him well, but he seems all right.”

“Yeah, I thought so too. Turns out it’s a small world because my friend is painting their new nursery. And they hired Owen because it turns out Beckett is Reed’s cousin. Isn’t that wild?”

“Wow, you weren’t kidding.”

Before I could set myself down a road I had no business pushing Ander down, I decided to change the subject. Quickly.

“I’m assuming they brought a book with them. What did you read?”

Watching Anders come to life was a damn good time. When he relaxed, he was animated and expressive. I wanted more of it.

“The librarian helped me find something since I hadn’t kept up with any new books lately. I was a little surprised at how wide their queer author selection was, but it was a happy surprise.”

“What did you end up picking?”

Anders’s cheeks pinkened. He fussed with his napkin and rearranged his fork and knife.

“It’s just a silly book.”

“Okay. So what was it?”

This time, he rearranged the garlic bread around his plate. I was invested now.

“Trailer Park Twink.” The embarrassment was evident.

“By Lance Lansdale?”

“Uh, yeah. How do you know that?”

“My sister is obsessed with romance novels. She loves him.”

“Oh.” Anders paused, then offered, “A lot of people say romance is dumb and practically porn.”

“A lot of people can keep their opinions to themselves about what other people read and shut their mouths about what other people enjoy while they’re at it.” I knew who other people were, and John could fuck right off.

“Oh, I did have some luck on the art front before I skipped out.” Anders sounded so pleased with himself that I kicked myself for not asking about it.

“I can’t wait to hear about it.”