Page 57 of Emil

I took a moment to steady my breathing. Having Anders in my bed, knowing it was absolutely, one hundred percent not appropriate to touch where I shouldn’t, was going to murder any chance of sleep tonight.

But goddammit, I was going to manage it. Even if it killed me.

Anders appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. The T-shirt wasn’t tight, but he filled it out all the same, just like he did the pants. He looked delicious. And sleepy.

“I really can go home. I was just being ridiculous,” he offered hesitantly.

“Nope. You’re sleeping here. It’s been a long time since I had a sleepover.”

“Oh yeah. Same. It’s been a really, really long time since I had a sleepover.”

“I can’t give two relapses, but maybe like one and a half?” I pulled the covers back a little farther and gestured for Anders to get in.

He slipped between the white sheets, and I pulled the fluffy duvet up over his shoulder. I brushed his hair back from his face. I didn’t know if he’d left it down for my benefit, but I fucking loved it.

I leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Close your eyes, sweetheart. I’m going to finish getting ready for bed. Don’t leave this bed for me, okay?”

“All right. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Good boy.

I raced into the bathroom without trying to be obvious about it and hurried through brushing my teeth and taking care of everything I needed to before heading back to bed. Anders wasn’t quite asleep, but he was halfway there.

I slipped in behind him under the covers. Just because I’d told myself we weren’t going to do anything sexual didn’t mean I was going to deprive myself of snuggling him. My arm curved over his waist, and I pulled him back against me so we were chest to back, with him tucked in as the little spoon.

His contented sigh filled the room, turning the quiet darkness into something warm and full. Everything felt exactly the way it was supposed to. Anders was right there, his breathing even, his face relaxed, his hair fanned across my pillow.

I couldn’t have asked for a better way to end the day.

“Good morning.”

I was a little disappointed to wake up and find Anders had already left the bedroom, but when I went into the kitchen and heard his happy humming at the stove, it was hard to stay disappointed for long. When I greeted him, he turned and gave me a brilliant smile. He looked genuinely happy.

He’d found an apron in the cupboard and was frying bacon on the stove. Chopped fruit sat halfway through preparation, and a crêpe pan waited on the counter.

“Good morning to you too. I woke up a little early, so I thought I’d make a bigger breakfast. I hope that’s okay?”

“Bacon, fruit, and…crêpes?” Anders nodded. “I will never complain about crêpes. Or bacon. Or fruit, for that matter.”

“Well, that settles that then. Are you ready for coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

Anders busied himself making my coffee and set it in front of me. I grabbed his wrist before he could sneak away and pulled him between my spread knees. I rested my hands on his waist and held him there. His hands came to my shoulders, and whatever worries had been lurking in the back of my mind vanished at the sparkle in his eyes.

Last night’s conversation came full circle. This really was his happy place, and there was no way in hell I was going to take it from him. If this was what Anders needed, then this was what I would give him.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me,” I said.

Anders flushed. I slid one hand from his waist up his chest and gently pulled his face toward mine, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. He made a soft, happy sound that warmed straight through me. Everything about him said he was at peace this morning. Happiness looked good on him. He seemed more sure, more at ease, more settled.

Whatever worries I still had needed to be shoved aside. I needed to let him do his thing.

“You’re very welcome.”

“What’s on your agenda for today?”

“Keep plugging away at that last section. I’ve probably got another two weeks before it’s fully wrapped up.”