Page 35 of The Liar in Room 5

“I am,” I admitted. “But there’s a hell of a lot of luck involved too.”

I lifted his hand and kissed the back of it.

“Any other questions?”

Drew shook his head before resting it back on my shoulder.

“Not really a question.”

“Oh?”

“Phoenix told me something else.”

He lifted his head and shifted away just enough that I knew this mattered, although he didn’t let go of my hand.

Far below us, a siren wailed through the city. Drew seemed oddly focused on the sound.

“Do you want to tell me what he said? Conversations with Phoenix are private, so you never have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s nothing like that.” He took a slow breath. “I’m just not sure how I feel about what he asked.”

“Okay. Feeling conflicted doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you’re still figuring it out.”

“He asked if you were my Daddy.”

I gathered myself before I answered. I certainly had no objection to stepping into that role. I also knew Drew struggled with turning forty and worried about our age difference. But if I were honest with myself, and I always tried to be, I was already halfway gone for this man. Every new secret he trusted me with, every new piece of himself he uncovered, made me fall a little harder.

Hearing him call me Daddy?

Sign me the fuck up.

“How do you feel about that?”

Drew sighed but didn’t answer right away. He plucked at his collar, then smoothed the cuffs of his shirt. He brushed the wrinkles from his pants and wiped his palms across the tops of his thighs, all while avoiding even the possibility of looking in my direction.

“I want you to know that there’s never any kind of requirement to do anything. Halo House is very strict about that. Whatever I do for you, I do because I want to, not because I have any kind of expectation.”

I said my piece, then grasped Drew’s chin between my forefinger and thumb and gently turned his head toward me. His eyes searched mine, but he didn’t speak.

“My job as your Daddy, if you allowed it, would be to smooth your way, not take away your agency. It’s to be your biggest cheerleader and your biggest fan, not to control you or force you into something you’re not interested in or be with someone you’re not interested in being with. It’s to help you figure out how to be the best version of yourself.”

“I don’t even know what that is anymore. I don’t think I ever did.”

“There’s no time limit, and there’s no expiration. I would be thrilled to have the title, but it’s not required, and it doesn’t change the fact that I want you to be happy because somehow that’s become very important to me.”

“I just feel like I don’t know myself anymore. I’ve spent so much of my life, half of it really, being all the things I thought someone else wanted, and I’m worried this is just one more thing. I’ve always said I don’t want a Daddy relationship, but I could never articulate why, and I’m still not sure I understand it.”

The sadness in Drew’s voice broke my heart because he wasn’t asking for anything other than permission to be himself, and the distinct impression I got was that he was asking for my permission, which he didn’t need. He didn’t need anyone’s, but I wasn’t sure he realized that yet. In fact, I suspected that thought hadn’t even occurred to him.

“If you don’t know yourself, what if I just keep you company while you rediscover who you are?”

“That doesn’t sound like it would be a good time for you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. It would be the best time for me.”

I booped him on the nose when I said it, which pulled the tiniest chuckle out of him.

For tonight, it would have to be enough.