Page 58 of The Liar in Room 5

“Honestly, it kind of seems that way. You didn’t even mention it at dinner last night.”

Drew nodded but kept his comments to himself. As much as I racked my brain, I couldn’t understand why it wasn’t something to celebrate.

“It feels small, and I hate that I’m excited about it.”

Whatever I thought he was going to say, that possibility hadn’t crossed my mind.

“Can you explain what you mean?” I kept my voice calm, like it was a deposition with a spooked witness. Half the time, getting information was about how one asked.

“I had such a good time with Ben at the park and then the aquarium with the other kids. I don’t wanna sound vain, but I was really good at it. Like juggling them and keeping them entertained and keeping them wrangled. Then afterward, when we were at the playground and then the movie part of it, I did a really good job, but…”

“The director must’ve thought so too because she offered you the position.”

“Yeah. She actually offered it to me before the movie, but still, she did. Ever since I accepted it, I got to thinking about something that Jonathan—and actually, even before him—said when I brought up getting a job.”

“What was that?”

“It was… Oh my God, I don’t even know how to explain it. The word that hurt the most was inconsequential. I don’t even remember what job it was. I think it was a garden center or something. Not even taking care of the plants because I’m not that good at that, but just working the register. They said it was inconsequential, and that’s not true. There’s nothing wrong with working for a living, no matter how much you get paid. I know that, but it made me feel so small. And now with you… I don’t want you to feel that way.”

“And you think that I will?”

“I don’t want you to.”

“Sweetheart, it’s not exactly the same thing, but I think it’s great. Kids love you. I saw the way Ben responded. I’m not at all surprised that the other kids did too. To be clear, I’m damn sure I couldn’t do that job. I’d last about twenty minutes tops before those kids mutinied. It’s a great opportunity for you to do something that you might love and be really good at.”

“Do you think it’s beneath you?”

“Beneath me? Absolutely fucking not. I’m gonna be proud to have you by my side whether you work, stay at home, or volunteer. I’m good with any of it. And if you change your mind down the line, I’m good with that too.”

Drew stared at me for a minute without saying anything. I could see the war going on between his head and his heart, and I tried to give him the space to resolve at least part of it. When he explained his reasoning, it was obvious that it didn’t have much to do with me and everything to do with the men he’d been involved with over the last however many years.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Although—and this isn’t a criticism—how are you going to get to work?”

Ben’s daycare was several miles from Halo House, so walking wasn’t an option. If public transportation was an option, I’d be pleasantly surprised.

“There’s a bus stop about a mile away. I can walk to that, and the bus will get me to just under two miles away. Not great, but definitely close enough to walk.” Drew jutted his chin, daring me to argue with him.

“How long is the ride?”

“An hour, give or take.”

Shit. A mile to catch a bus, an hour-long ride, then another couple of miles on foot was one hell of a commute. A two-hour commute on top of the physical aspects of a forest school setup was a lot, and that didn’t account for bad weather or running late and missing the bus.

The Daddy in me wanted desperately to lay down the law and tell him it wasn’t a sustainable plan, but I knew that would crush him. The way he sat in the chair across from me, his shoulders hunched as he waited for the blowback, forced me to keep my mouth shut. I wanted to fix it, but I wasn’t sure how to broach it. Rather than screw it up now, I made the executive decision to put it aside until I had a little more time to figure it out.

“I think it’s fantastic and deserves a celebration.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. The oil change still has to happen, but if you’re doing all that walking and forest rangering with kiddos, you need a proper pair of shoes, and I’m claiming the right to buy them for you as a present.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I want to do it and I will because I’m the Daddy.”

“And you said so?”