Page 17 of AJ’s Fire

“Eh.” I shrugged. “I’ll take it.”

I was watching the dots bounce during my exchange with Hunter, and finally, Jackson responded.

Probie: You know what that feels like?

It took me a minute to get what he was asking me because I was more focused on what my back felt like.

Coffee Trainer: Sucking a dick? No, obsv. Just something stupid my brother Josh said.

Probie: So he’s an over sharer, like his brother.

I laughed at my phone, and Caid opened his eyes and tilted his head my way momentarily before leaning back again.

Coffee Trainer: Who doesn’t like a good dick-sucking story. Remember Piper that time …

Jackson and I kept up the witty banter throughout the day, and for some reason, I kept thinking about blow jobs for a good portion of the day as well. It wasn’t unusual for my mind to wander to sex, but when I started to picture myself on my knees, it was a new experience for me. Not once in all these years of being the supportive older brother and ally did it ever occur to me to imagine gay sex. Now all of a sudden, it was all I could imagine.

I had a few drinks at dinner and passed out right after family movie night, on Hunter’s bed, thank you very much, only to wake up sporting something a little more than morning wood and knowing that there was not one woman in my Regency dream from the night before. Not even the revered Ms. Austen herself.

“Ugh.” I grunted my way out of my brother’s bed, dug out workout clothes, and planned to head straight for the campus gym. But first I would take care of business in the shower while remembering one of my favorite fuck buddies, Piper, and a particularly fun night. I really tried to focus on memories of her, but more than once, I imagined myself getting down on my knees, and since Piper didn’t have a dick, I sure as shit wasn’t imagining sucking her off. My mind fought with itself, and eventually I gave up, letting my hand go frantic and letting my mind picture Jackson there before me, down on his knees, his slim, taut muscles bulging as water cascaded down his smooth body. I found myself thinking about his cock, and how it would be as hard as mine was in that moment. I imagined his mouth on me, hotter and firmer than any woman’s had ever been, his own hand doing to his cock what mine was doing as I stood in that shower, and my world turned upside down.

I came with a muffled grunt before watching the evidence of my pleasure run down the drain, hoping it would take the confusing memory along with it even as I knew with certainty that those few minutes in the shower would be emblazoned on my mind forever.

Confused and distracted, I threw my workout clothes on and quietly headed downstairs. Nat caught me on my way out.

“You sure you're up for a workout, AJ? You shouldn’t push too hard.”

“I spent seven hours in Jamie’s tiny-ass car the other night, slept on a blow-up mattress, then I ate enough food to feed three men over the course of the day yesterday. So this is really all your fault.” I pointed at my stepmother, who refused to laugh at my charming joke.

“You have all day, AJ. Come, sit with me for a bit. I’ll make tea.”

“Tea?” Tea? Had Nat read my mind? Did she know about the fucking Regency dreams?

“It’s good for your throat. I’ll put some honey in it. How does it feel?” She tapped her own throat to let me know what she was talking about before pulling out a teapot and setting the water to boil.

“Better than yesterday, so I’m sure I’m healing.”

“And how are you, otherwise? Everything good in Brooklyn? At the fire station?”

At seventeen, one day when I came home from a volunteer shift at the local fire department, I braved telling Nat that I had looked into the New York City training program for firefighters, and though I had more than one talk with each of my parents and stepparents about being sure and keeping my options open, in the end, they were reluctantly supportive of my choice to move to New York City and to make the fire department my career. But Nat had been the first person I’d told and the first to show genuine support.

By the time Nat and I were sipping tea, and I was avoiding thinking about my weird dreams and weirder shower fantasies, I was almost forty and had been a firefighter for over twenty years. I loved my free-wheeling life in New York, and being close to Jamie and Vera.

“Everything’s great, Nat. We’ve got a good team in place. LT’s a natural leader. We work well together.”

“And how's Jackson?”

I couldn’t help but smile even as I fought to not picture him on his knees. He had sent me a link that morning to an article from an actual medical website on how to safely give a blow job.

“He’s good, he’s great. He’s …”

Nat gave me that look. The one that let me know she knew I was bullshitting. I’d really hated that look when I was a dumb teen, but I had loved it once I was old enough to appreciate it. No one knew me like Nat, and no one supported me like her either.

“Something’s up with him. I don’t know, I thought it was this woman. But he introduced her to me and is trying to set us up, I guess. Jax and I went through a little blip, or whatever, but I think things are getting better now. I just want him to be happy, Nat, and lately he doesn’t seem happy. I worry about him.”

“You’re a good friend, AJ. He wants to set you up with his friend, like on a date? Not just a hookup? Who are you, and what have you done with my stepson?” Nat was awesome, but sometimes she reminded you that she was just a nerdy mom and professor.

“Yes, Nat, like a date. Her name is Emily, and she’s an old friend of Jackson’s. You probably know who she is. Emily Wyecrest, from that kid’s show.”