Page 40 of AJ’s Fire

I put my hands to my face and muttered, “Oh my God, AJ. What have we done?”

“We fucked, man. And it was fun. No, it was amazing! I told you not to overthink it. You’re overthinking it.” He hovered over me with that bright, goofy smile on his face. “Should I distract you again?”

I pushed him off me until he was sitting back again. “Stop teasing me, Alexander Jeremy.”

“Oh, I am not teasing you, I am one hundred percent serious. Any place, any time. That was …”

Instead of finishing, AJ’s fingertips began to brush down his own chest toward the dark patch of hair that nestled his spent member.

“AJ!”

He laughed at me, moving that arm to wrap it instead over my shoulder. I stiffened at first, but he rolled me toward him, and I nestled into his side, my head on his shoulder.

“Can you talk to me now, please, Jackson? Is this the secret? Is this what’s got you so tied up in knots that we’re going to poetry readings at the Y?”

“Yes,” I said, though it was only half true. If it had only been about telling AJ that I was into guys, he was right, I could have told him way before then. I knew, from the way he acted with his brothers, from the way he acted with our queer friends and colleagues, from the way he treated the kids from the Burcus Center, that it wouldn’t have been an issue. I knew, too, that he would keep my secret if I asked.

No, the reason I had drama queened all over the past year wasn’t because I was afraid to come out to him. It was because I was afraid of my attraction to him. Afraid of what it would do to our friendship. Lying safe and comfortable in his strong arms, I couldn’t help but wonder about that very thing.

He took the hand that had been gently brushing up and down my forearm as it rested on his stomach and brought it to my head. I could feel one fingertip as he ran little circles through my hair. “I can see the cogs turning. How’s all that thinking working out for you?” The hand grazed my cheek before he tilted my head up to his.

“Look at us, Jax. Naked in your fucking bed. Smelling like sex and that posh soap you insist on using. You can tell me anything. Please,” he ended desperately.

“I don’t want to mess us up, AJ. You’re my best friend, and … I wanted to tell you.”

“People come out when they’re ready, Jax.”

“I know. But I didn’t want it to make things weird between us. And now …”

“And now …” He was still caressing my cheek, so we continued to look at each other. Finally, he shook his head and leaned toward me, kissing me gently and quickly before pulling back to flash that mischievous smile again. “You wanna know the weirdest fucking part, Jax?”

I couldn’t help but smile back when he looked at me like that. I nodded at him, feeling like some forlorn anime character, looking up at the object of their affection with gigantic doe eyes.

“It’s that none of this feels fucking weird at all.”

He kissed me again, oh so gently, lifting up and placing his hands on my shoulders, pushing me back down until he was on top of me. Then we kissed, and kissed, our hands roaming slowly, our mouths learning the feel of each other. He moaned when I dragged my tongue along his and when my fingers tickled the small of his back.

I could feel his dick hardening against my thigh. Mine was filling at the same rate. He had accused me of overthinking, but my only thought was him as he pulled away, only moving far enough to kiss my neck and behind my ear. To blow on the spot before finding his way, kiss by sensuous kiss, down the center of my chest.

He was licking the area around my belly button and running his hands around my abs.

“Abs really are sexy. Who knew? I could touch yours all day. Maybe one of my hands could just live under your shirt.”

The laugh just came out. I had never laughed like that during sex. Sure, I’d had drunken encounters where one or both of us thought something was funny, hilarious even. I’d had moments of embarrassment with women I hardly knew that we laughed off together. But to laugh at goofy AJ saying something goofy—I found it almost as sexy as he apparently found abs.

My laugh broke up the moment, and AJ lifted up to look at me before glancing down at my cock, which lay to the side again, stiff and leaking. He lost the smile, and his brow furrowed in a way that should have been concerning, but coupled with the lustful look in his eyes, it just endeared him to me even more.

“Been thinking about this for months. I’m gonna try. If that’s okay?”

I meant to say something along the lines of You don’t have to or Only if you want to or Are you sure?, but what came out was, “Fuck, yeah,” and that was enough to get that smile back on AJ’s face.

Chapter Thirteen

AJ

All I wanted was that smile back on his face, and when I offered to suck his dick, there it was, bright and excited as he exclaimed, “Fuck, yeah.” His smile was also sexy as all hell, and why the fuck had I not noticed that before? How had I gone all those years and not realized what it meant every time my stomach swooped when he laughed, or all the times he draped an arm over my shoulders, or stepped into the hot tub that was currently collecting snow downstairs, or when he peeled off his uniform at work.

Fuck, now I was the one overthinking things. I looked up at him again, and his smile had turned to consternation.