Page 50 of AJ’s Fire

The things he was saying, about missing his friend, about wanting to be with me, much as I could barely believe him, AJ appeared so honest and raw that I had to trust what he was saying. But what did it mean? Just because some multiverse craziness had occurred between us didn’t mean he was a different person. AJ Gordon didn’t do relationships. He had his bros and his family and his women on the side. Could something more than our physical attraction to each other have changed for AJ? It didn’t seem likely.

I stood and waited until he turned to face me, the furniture between us. “What do you want, AJ?” He looked so lost and a little afraid. I’d never seen him afraid before. I’d seen him run into burning buildings and fill up a room like a rock star and goof around for his niece like a cartoon character, but I’d never seen him this vulnerable, other than when his sister-in-law had died, or when we had a tragedy at work.

AJ’s phone rang at the same moment there was a knock on the door. It took a beat for us to break eye contact. As a matter of fact, he pulled the phone out without looking away from me.

But then he clocked the phone and looked desperately at me as he answered it. “Yeah, James?” I nodded and headed for the front door. “Yeah, they’re here,” he confirmed for his brother. “Don’t worry. I got this.”

AJ led the two-man crew around the back of the house to the lower-level entrance, making the bed delivery fairly painless. We tipped the guys and found ourselves alone once again down in a room that I had slept in years ago.

“Jamie really straightened up down here. Who is this guy again?”

“Josh’s slutty roommate, remember?”

We laughed about that. It felt so good to laugh with him. He bent down to pick up plastic wrap from the box spring he’d told the guys not to worry about and filled me in. “He and Josh met as freshman at HU. He’s interning at Welling Financial.”

“Where Anna worked?”

“Yup.”

“Is Jamie okay with that? I know he wasn’t a fan of Welling when she was alive. And after what happened …”

AJ shrugged. “It shouldn’t be a big deal. At least I don’t think it will be. The kid just needs a room. But I’ll keep an eye on Jamie. Maybe he can help us with the Family Fun Day event. Get him out of the house. I know he didn’t hit it off with Ruth, but maybe Emily? Or Casey?” He sat on the bed, rustling the plastic wrapping. “I really do think it’s time for him to get back out there. Let’s find a night, okay, to hang with him and Emily and Ruth?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said distractedly, imagining being out in public with AJ. It had been damned near impossible to be close to him at the station, my thoughts constantly going back to our time in the cabin. I felt like I spent the entire shift with a blush on my face and a semi in my sweatpants.

“Hey.” He was standing before me. “Remember, we’re being honest, right? Tell me what’s going on in here.” He pointed to my head, and all I could think was that he should have been pointing to my heart.

“Right.” I forced myself to say out loud what I had been thinking, taking half a step forward as I did so. “I can’t imagine being out in public with you and restraining myself from doing this.”

I shoved him back onto the bed and landed on top of him, finally kissing him the way I’d wanted to since I’d first walked in on him pumping iron at the fire hall, and he’d been talking about blow jobs.

I dropped all my weight on him as we kissed and kissed, but it was awkward with our legs hanging off the bed and the plastic rustling. I wanted to cover him completely, and I couldn’t get the leverage I needed. I lifted my head just enough to say “move up” onto AJ’s lips.

He started to hoist himself but stopped. “No! We’re supposed to be talking!” He went to push me off, but I wouldn’t let him.

“On the bed,” I ordered.

“Huh?”

“Like strip poker. We’ll sit on the bed and spew our feelings, and my reward for opening my heart up to you? I get to ask you to remove one item of clothing for each feeling expressed or problem resolved.”

“Strip therapy?”

I raised my eyebrows. “We’ll make millions. We’ll have to run it by Jamie sometime.” And goddamn it if that didn’t bring one of our problems to the forefront. I climbed off AJ and, plastic rustling as I did so, worked my way to the head of the bed, resting on the wall in a seated position.

AJ sat up too, shaking his head at me as he did so and sitting opposite me in the middle of the bed, cross-legged. “Strip therapy.” He rolled his eyes.

“Me first.”

“Okay.” AJ sounded pleased.

“For those sneakers,” I began, “I’m not ready to come out. Not only because of my parents even though my parents and the notoriety of Dorso Electronics is a big part of it. But what about work, AJ? We can’t be fuck buddies at work.”

“People at the station have dated before, I think. But I told you: we do this at your pace. I won’t tell anyone. Not even Jamie if that’s what you want. Also, don’t you know the rules of strip poker? You get one sneaker.”

He tossed off one shoe.

“For that sweatshirt,” he countered. “Can you please promise to talk to me moving forward? This year has been … horrible for me, not being there for you. I’m here now. Always have been. Please know that.”