Page 70 of AJ’s Fire

I mimed locking my lips and throwing away the key and reveled in the look on AJ’s face as his focus went to my lips. A quick glance confirmed that Natalie still had her eyes on us.

“Come on, let’s get those grills lit.”

We had fun and joked around most of the day, a couple of the kids from the Burcus Center helping us out. Josh and Devon told the kids that they were both gay, and that seemed to relax them. Part of me hated not sharing my own sexuality with the group.

Soon we were all joking and teasing each other, even Jamie, who’d started out a bit high-strung. I could relate; spending time with AJ out in public was always stressful, and as far as I knew, Jamie and Devon hadn’t seen each other for almost as long as AJ and I had been sneaking around.

Our first lull came hours later, when the Burcus Center director gathered all the kids around and began explaining the rules for the Easter egg hunt. Vera, who had arrived with her aunt to participate in the event, was front and center, taking it all in, her father, aunt, and grandparents off to the side, looking on with pride. I caught AJ taking in the tableau as well, and I knew what I had to do.

I threw a “be right back” to Josh and Devon, who were organizing our dwindling supplies with the help of the teenagers, and worked my way over to the two vehicles that acted as our base of operations. The area was deserted since the focus was on the egg hunt. I tucked behind one of the vehicles and texted AJ.

Probie: Can you meet me by the gray SUV?

Feeling cute, I added an image of a car to the text. Then I waited. Once the sound of children laughing and screaming started, AJ found his way to me. I was leaning on our buddy’s vehicle, staring at the text from my mom.

“What’s wrong?”

“This is stupid,” I started but realized my mistake when AJ’s face turned from lightly concerned to deeply worried. I looked around to confirm we were alone and kissed him.

“Sorry. Let me try that again. I’m ready. To come out. To tell everyone if you want. There’s no reason for us to hide from your parents and …” I nodded to myself in encouragement. “No reason to hide from mine. Not really. I …”

The fucker was kissing me before I could continue, and I let him for a beautiful minute before I pulled back, head tapping the vehicle. I caressed his cheek. “I love you, Alexander Jeremy Gordon, and it’s time everyone knew that.”

“My God, Jax. I love you too.” He looked into my eyes like he was discovering them for the first time. “Okay! Yes. Yes, of course. Listen, I’ve been thinking about this. I mean, do you want to tell your parents first? That’s the big hurdle, right? But we’ve also got to tell the chief and LT.”

“What about your family?”

“Yeah, I think Jamie might want the floor tonight. Besides, I want to tell him first before I announce it to the whole family. Explain why I’ve hidden it from him even after he came out to me.”

“Oh, yeah. That makes sense.”

“Hey, you can come over tonight if you want. To Jamie’s, with my parents and Josh and Devon.” I wanted to, I really did, but what I really wanted, what I finally wanted, was to be there as AJ’s boyfriend.

I kissed AJ again, and we held each other’s waists tight. “Nah,” I said slowly. “This is Jamie’s night, and I don’t want to mess it up by being too obvious. I think your stepmother already suspects, which would just make me more nervous about slipping up. You come home to me later,” I whispered seductively in his ear, “and we’ll devise our own plan for coming out.”

Less seductively, I concluded. “I hadn’t really been thinking about work, but we will have to tell them too. Yuk.”

With laughter in his eyes, AJ kissed my temple. “Come on, let’s finish up with all this family fun so we can go home.” I loved the way he emphasized the word home.

It felt wrong, parting with AJ after the event. He held his niece as I said goodbye to the family. They invited me to brunch the next morning, but I was noncommittal. AJ’s dad, not helpfully, opined, “Brunch is probably too early for a young man with the entire city as his playground.”

I looked at AJ and he at me in amusement, his eyebrows raised high and hidden under his bangs. I turned to say goodbye to the family, catching Natalie’s eye. It was clear she had seen our exchange yet again.

“You’re welcome any time, Jackson, and we will see you up in Hampstead. Soon, I hope.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I walked away, feeling AJ’s eyes on me as I went.

I was restless at home, ready to share my plan with my boyfriend. He started texting me from Jamie’s house. He told me that Jamie came out to everyone, and that it had gone well. No surprise there. I asked AJ if he was sure he didn’t want to come out, too, and he said he would wait, not wanting to interfere with Jamie’s journey, assuring me that we would share our journey soon enough.

When he told me he’d been roped into playing a board game, I figured I had some time on my hands. It was the first time in a long time that AJ and I were spending any downtime apart. I was glad I wasn’t in the way for Jamie’s coming out, but I missed AJ.

I had been sitting in front of the TV, not really watching, while AJ and I chatted via text. But I was restless, so I shut off the TV and made my way to the bedroom. I looked at my bed. AJ and I had been tearing up the sheets for the past two months, finding new ways and learning favorite ways to get each other off. There wasn’t a room in my condo that we hadn’t fooled around in, but we’d been so focused on each other that we had yet to pull out the little toy I’d purchased what felt like a lifetime ago.

Well, I had some time to kill, I decided. My phone chimed. AJ had sent a picture of the game board.

Coffee Trainer: On a team with Josh. Might text you some trivia questions.

I took some time before sending a picture of my own. I had never moved the candles AJ had set out the night we’d first used the bathtub. I moved one to my nightstand then and lit it before stripping and climbing into bed with a towel underneath me. One of the things we had learned over the months was how messy lube was and how neither of us liked to sleep on wet, greasy sheets after we’d made love.