Page 31 of Josh’s Play

Soon even his insistent tongue playing games with mine wasn’t enough, and my hands started to move up and down his T-shirt, gliding easily over the silky material, going lower and lower with each swipe until I was brave enough to find my way to his ass.

Feeling the rounded muscles tighten underneath my hands, I let out a moan I had never heard myself make before. It was deeper and more erotic than any of the times I had jacked myself off, all from kissing him and caressing his rear. I didn’t know if the hitched sigh he let out was a result of my hands on his ass or his reaction to my moan, but it was like I could feel it firing through my body, tugging at my arousal until the sensation was almost too much.

I pulled him closer still, and I wished more than anything that I wasn’t still wearing my heavy winter jacket, because I was sure if I wasn’t, I would be able to feel his dick against me.

He moaned again as he pulled away from me, his blue eyes darker than usual, which only made the paler blue sparkle more in contrast. I didn’t remember my hands running through his hair, but it was sticking up all over the place. I felt heat on my own skin and sweat on my brow as I ran my fingers through my hair.

He took an exaggerated step back. “We should talk, Cam.”

“Okay.” My fingers were still in my hair. “Yeah, yes. Okay.” I took my jacket off and hung it over one of the chairs tucked under the long desk. There was a bed on either side of it. One bed was neatly made, the section of the desk adjacent to it organized. The other side of the room was a chaotic mess. Though I’d never met his roommate, for some reason I assumed the chaotic mess belonged to Josh.

He rolled the other desk chair out and dragged it behind him to the bed at the far side of the room, the one that was unmade and stacked with clothes. He shoved the whole pile to the foot of the bed and smoothed out the bottom sheet before turning to me.

“Sit.”

I obeyed and dropped to the side of the bed as he sat in the chair, gliding on it until we were face-to-face, knees touching.

I leaned forward to try and kiss him again. He pushed back, letting the chair roll, putting some distance between us. My stomach took that moment to growl, embarrassingly loudly. I would have been happy to ignore it, but Josh jumped up, the chair rolling away from him. He pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Shit, you must be starving, burning all those calories during the game. You didn’t eat at the bar?” He sounded equal parts concerned and chastising, like it was his job to be worried about my well-being. My stomach did a little swoop that had nothing to do with being hungry. Sure, most of the guys on the hockey team looked out for each other, and for sure the coaching staff was all over us about our health and nutrition, but aside from my family, I don’t think I’d ever really had anyone else express concern over me like that.

I stopped my internal train of thought by realizing that it was simply the musings of an inexperienced person. Friends asked friends if they were hungry when their stomach made it sound like they hadn’t eaten in days. I was reading too much into his simple question.

“What do you like on your pizza?”

“Josh,” I tried to argue, but the look he gave me told me that was useless, so I mumbled, “Mushrooms,” instead. He tapped a few buttons.

“Done.”

He sat opposite me again, closer this time so that our knees intertwined.

“You’re clearly going through some shit, Cam. And believe me”—he started running his hands up and down my thighs—“I want to be the one to help you through it.” I tried to smirk at that, but he stayed serious, so I reined in the look and continued to hear him out.

“But I need to know what you’re looking for here,” he said plainly.

The thing was, I had no idea what I was looking for. Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. I knew I was ready to cash in my V-card, and I knew I wanted it to be with the guy I’d been obsessing over for months. There was no place for swooping stomachs or flights of romantic fancy in my immediate future. But maybe there could be a friend who ordered pizza and a casual hookup to at least scratch the itch.

There could be no distractions. So I told Josh what I knew we both needed to hear to move forward.

“I know you’re just a hookup guy, Josh. I know that’s what you’re into. And I’m … I’m looking for someone to hook up with. Someone I can trust with my secret and with … other things.”

He gave me a pointed look and waited patiently for me to elaborate.

I inhaled a deep breath and continued with resolve. “I’ve never been with anyone. I’d barely ever kissed anyone before I met you. I need you to understand, I can’t let anything distract me, my career is too important to me. Dating would be a distraction. Being ‘the gay hockey player’ would be a distraction. But I’m almost twenty-one years old. What if I do get into the NHL next year? Do you think there are many professional players who are virgins?”

“I don’t know about any of that, Cam. But I do know that having sex, like coming out, is a personal decision. You shouldn’t let anyone pressure you, and you most definitely shouldn’t do it just because.” It was the perfect thing to say, of course.

I shook my head as I moved closer to him. “That’s not what this is. I promise. I want to have sex, and I want it to be with you. A hookup. No pressure, no promises. Just sex.”

Josh was looking at me so intently, and the room felt like it was popping around us. His look was serious, and it again had me thinking that he had some other worry on his mind.

“But obviously, only if you want to, Josh.”

He purposefully cleared the look from his face. “Of course, I want to. What made you think …”

“You just looked so serious. Like something was wrong.”

That determined look flashed again, but he quickly softened it to a sweet smile. “I assure you nothing’s wrong, Cam.” He thought for a moment. “It’s just, it’s a big responsibility, to be somebody’s first time. So yeah, I take that seriously.”