Page 78 of Josh’s Play

“Glad you’re here. It’s Cam’s turn to muck the stalls in the morning. We only have two horses right now, so it’s not a big deal, but we like to get it done early, and this guy could use a little help.”

Cam shoved his brother before picking up the platter of chicken and dropping a piece on his brother’s plate. He pointed at a few pieces, silently asking me to choose, and I shrugged as if to say it didn’t matter. They all looked good to me.

“We’ve hardly ever eaten together. You’ve gotta at least let me know if you’re a dark meat or a white-mean guy.” Chase may have snickered, and Cam used his free hand to swat at his forearm as the younger man was raising a chicken leg to his mouth. “Not a word out of you, smartass.”

With the chicken leg poised in front of his mouth, Chase did manage to quickly mumble, “You’re about the whitest white meat …” before his brother shouldered him and told him to shut up and eat.

The family was all settled at the table by the time Chase took a bite of his chicken, thinking better of finishing his comment. I glanced nervously at Cam’s parents, catching them laughing and rolling their eyes at each other.

“Try to behave in front of company, Chase,” his dad said, but there was no harshness to his tone. “Not everyone is used to the brilliant witticism that comes from being a teenage boy.”

Cam put his face in front of his brother’s, and in a similarly loving and joking tone, repeated, “That means shut up and eat.” Then to his parents, he said, “Actually, Josh is one of six kids, so he’s probably used to obnoxious brothers.”

I leaned close to Cam and corrected him. “One of seven.” He turned to face me, and we were barely an inch apart the way we were sitting on that bench.

“Oh shit, yeah, five brothers, one sister, and you!” We were smiling at each other and didn’t move until Cam’s dad cleared his throat. When he did, it made me realize what we must have looked like, and my nerves kicked in, my heart beating like it was warning me to get the hell out of there. But when I tore my eyes from Cam’s, all I saw were bright smiles from Mr. and Mrs. Ryan.

I plastered a smile on my face as well but could hear the anxiousness in my voice as I contributed, “I’m actually the second youngest, so if anyone's the obnoxious little brother, it would be me.” Cam’s hand found my thigh, and he gave it a supportive squeeze.

“One of seven! Wow, that’s … Wow.”

Chase did not heed his father’s warning about his witty comments. “What she means is, she’s glad she stopped at three.”

Danny found his voice to add, “She could have stopped at two and skipped you.”

Mr. and Mrs. Ryan, who insisted I call them Daniel and Camille, asked me questions about my family, my studies, and asked Cam and me how we met and how long we’d been seeing each other. I’d been expecting a cold but polite welcome, but the family showed me nothing but jovial good humor and genuine interest.

“Danny and I are going to help Mom prepare the food for tomorrow, and Chase, you get the afternoon off since you straightened up the barn. Cam, I thought you might want to take Josh and show him around. I gassed up the ATV. Calving went early this year, but your girl Pixie’s holding out on us. Why don’t you boys go check on her?”

Cam looked at me in question, and I shrugged again.

“Thanks, Dad. We’re just going to grab our stuff, then we’ll head out.”

I followed Cam back out to the car and then back to the house and up a set of stairs to the second level. A landing and hallway sported six doors, and Cam pointed to the one to our left. “That’s Chase’s room.” Straight ahead of us was Danny’s room, and around the corner, Cam opened the first door. “Bathroom. We all share. This is the linen closet if you need anything.” He opened it and took out a stack of towels before knocking once on the next door. “Guest room,” he said, but he kept walking to the dead end and opened the last door. “And my room.”

He was doing that thing where he opened the door and expected me to brush past him, but I stood where I was and looked over my shoulder. “Should I drop my stuff off?”

“Well, yeah. That’s what we’re doing up here.” He pulled my bag from me and entered the room. I followed dumbly behind him.

He dropped our bags to the floor and sat on his bed, which was the same size as his bed in Hampstead and much bigger than the narrow one I had at the dorm. It was the only bed in the room.

“Talk to me, Josh. What’s going on?” I glanced around the room and wasn’t surprised to find a shelf lined with trophies. Posters of hockey players lined the walls. One wall had a metal sign on it that said: “Mayville Recreation Center and Ice Rink.” I stared at it, trying to collect my thoughts.

I could tell that Cam went from looking at me to following my gaze. “Oh, that. They redid the exterior a few years ago. Repainted and got a new sign. I asked if I could have the old one.” I smiled, but my eyes went to the bed instead of to Cam’s face. “Josh?”

Finally, I turned and stood in front of where Cam was sitting. I thought about stepping into his personal space or sitting next to him, but both felt weird. I sat on the floor in front of him instead. The carpet that covered most of his hardwood floor was soft to the touch as I leaned back on my hands, but I quickly sat up straight, pulled my knees to my chest, and hugged them.

Cam circled a hand in the air in front of me. “What is all this? Something’s wrong. You said it went well with your parents, but did something happen? Or do you hate it here? It’s even more rustic than Hampstead, I know, but …”

“No! It’s none of that. My parents loved you. They’re shocked that I have an actual boyfriend, but I’m pretty sure they’re thrilled about it too. Well”—I couldn’t help the joke—“my dad never actually appears thrilled about anything, but Mom assured me he is. They’ve always been super supportive about us finding our own way in the world, but my mom can barely contain how happy she is that I’ve got my first boyfriend. Hell, she’s got five kids and two stepkids, all of whom are single. We’re lucky she isn’t picking out china patterns for us already. So I promise, there’s nothing for you to worry about with them. And this place? It’s amazing and warm and welcoming. I’d definitely want to vacation here.”

“Then what’s going on? Because I’m worried”—Cam’s hand carded through his hair—“about the guy who's currently balled up in the fetal position on my carpet.”

“Actually, this would be the fetal position,” I joked as I flopped on my side. I smiled from my prone position and felt relief when I saw Cam drop his hand from his hair and smile back at me. I sat up and went back to my original position, leaning back, my legs open in a V in front of me.

“It’s just, I expected your parents to be different. I’ve been thinking about our conversations about them, Cam, and for the life of me, I thought they were … I thought part of the reason you didn’t want to come out was because they wouldn’t approve. I clearly got that wrong. I’m so sorry that I got that so wrong.”

“You thought my organic farm-owning hippie parents would be homophobes?”