Page 89 of Josh’s Play

“We’ll be busy with finals. Then I have graduation. The farm’s barely an hour away, Cam. I can come visit you over the summer, especially if I don’t find a job. What choice do we have, my prince?” Cam refused to respond. “You know I’m right.”

Reluctantly, Cam agreed with a simple nod.

With Devon in the know, we were able to spend some time in my dorm, and we still met once a week at the Hockey House, except, as finals got closer, we actually spent much of our time together quietly studying.

We were both absorbed in our own notes, sitting side by side on his couch, the TV muted in front of us, a week before graduation, when Cam said, “I ran into Professor Dayden at the rink the other day.”

I sat up quickly in surprise. “Funny. I saw him too. Did he tell you that he wanted to see me?”

“No. I think he was there talking to Coach about interviewing players for the summer session of his sports journalism class. Coach said I don’t have to do it, but he’s making Noah and Ethan participate. Dayden did ask me about publishing the podcast.”

“Yeah, he mentioned that to me too.” I straddled Cam’s lap. “But that’s not why he wanted to see me.” I paused and looked deeply into Campbell’s expressive eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you about this, because it probably won’t come to anything, but obviously, you know that the Buffalo Blizzard have a connection to HU through your coach. Well, I guess they’re looking for an intern to work in their PR department. Dayden told them about my articles, and he’s recommending me for it.” Cam’s eyes went wide with surprise.

“I didn’t say anything, obviously, but for some reason, he thought that a member of the alphabet mafia might be the right person for the job.”

“The alphabet mafia?”

“Yeah, you know, LGBTQIA+.” I shook my head and pecked his lips. “You have so much to learn.”

“Hey, I’m learning!” With the part-hungry, part-amused look we gave each other, I assumed he was thinking the same thing as I was. He had learned an awful lot about blow jobs and frotting and fucking me over the past few weeks.

“Oh my God, Josh. They want to hire a queer person because of me!”

“I think so, Cam.”

“But I told them I wouldn’t come out.” I noted his use of the word “wouldn’t.” He’d stopped saying that he didn’t want to whenever we talked about him going to Buffalo.

“I know, baby, but I guess they want to be prepared. And either way, it sounds like a really cool job. I’ll be helping with press releases and social media and damage control. Dayden said that when he mentioned the podcast, they started thinking that maybe the team could start one. Maybe I’d be able to help with that.”

Cam clearly didn’t share my enthusiasm. He guided me off him to stand up, his fingers finding his bangs and tugging. “They want someone to wrangle me. To keep me in the closet?”

“I honestly don’t think that’s it, babe.”

“It shouldn’t require an additional PR person just because I’m gay!”

“In fairness, I don’t think this is a new position. I assume them low-key looking for a gay person just has to do with your circumstance.”

“I don’t want to be a circumstance, Josh!”

“I know that, baby.”

He turned and looked at me so intently. “Do you?”

Maybe I didn’t. We talked more about it, Cam realizing that me working for the Buffalo Blizzard might be a good thing for our relationship even as he continued to push back on the idea that they needed someone to wrangle him.

“Ironically, it would mean me moving up there while you complete your senior year. But Buffalo’s not that far, and then, once you graduate, we’ll be up there together!”

“Yeah, that would be great.” I knew Cam meant it, but he still seemed distracted.

“Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, right? I was going to tell you if I got the job, talk to you about it before I accepted, so we can revisit this, right? If I hear from them. I mean, it probably won’t come to anything.”

The announcement that Cam was signed to the Blizzard happened the day before graduation, which meant both of us were too busy with our own families and major life accomplishments to be there much for each other. We texted throughout the weekend, and I was able to attend the press conference since I was scheduled to meet with the director of PR immediately following it for my interview.

I was thrilled to be in the room watching Cam sign his contract, flanked by his beaming parents, but miserable thinking about spending the next however many years having to hide my feelings for Cam.

We’d agreed to post the podcast after the announcement. The Blizzard’s PR team had listened to it and actually asked if they could help spread the word.

I chatted about it toward the end of my interview. “It feels slightly unfinished, is the only thing,” the director commented.