Page 50 of Snow Globe Secrets

Energy filled the car, pulling me toward him. I resisted by leaning on the car door. “I just have to say, Randall … If I don’t say this, I don’t know how I’ll be able to get through this week. I just need you to know that every moment that I’m not looking at you and not laughing at your jokes, every moment that I’m not seeking you out and not spending time with you, please know that that’s all I want to be doing. I won’t mess this week up. But I need you to know that it will take every fiber of my being to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“Austin. I …”

“Come on, babe. Babe, babe, babe.” He looked at me like I’d lost my mind.

“There! Now that’s out of my system, Randy.”

He managed a laugh. “Please don’t call me that.”

“Yes, yup. Definitely not. Never again.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he mumbled as he got out of the car. I was opening my door when he leaned back in. “And thank you for promising to avoid me like the plague because I’m not sure I have the strength.”

“Sure you do! We got this!” I felt like a cheerleader.

He was much more practical, dare I say much more mature, as he reasoned, “I guess. Just remember, we spent two days holed up together; it’s natural that we’ve gotten to know each other. That we’ve become friends, even.”

“Friends.” I nodded with a smile, and he smiled back while our eyes collected up all that visceral passion and fired it back and forth between us like Superman’s laser-beam eyes.

My geeky Clark Kent and I were so fucked.

Chapter Eighteen

Randall

“I can do this,” I mumbled to myself. I knew I could because when I’d reminded Austin that he had his whole life ahead of him and didn’t need to be saddled with an antisocial old man, he hadn’t disagreed with me. Okay, maybe I’d only said, You have your whole life ahead of you. Every choice in the world. And maybe he’d only said that it simply meant we had time to explore being in a relationship, and that we could just put a pause on it while visiting his parents. But the fact that he didn’t counter the point was enough to convince me that Austin was going to get our crazy cabin-fever-induced encounters out of his mind and get on with his life. It would be easy to do since we’d shattered the snow globe. Once we’d gotten through the holiday, and he had no reason to see me, my life, and his, I assumed, would go back to normal.

For me, I didn’t think it would be so easy. I already knew that I would miss Austin. Hell, it felt like I was missing him even as we stood there in his parents’ driveway, as the Austin and Randall who’d weathered back-to-back storms, filling the time with silly movies, great meals, and the most intense lovemaking of my life were wiped away, and Marty’s old friend and his son stared at his house.

I was walking toward the hatchback as the front door opened.

“There they are!” an excited female voice exclaimed.

It was followed quickly by a male voice. “Hey, son. How was the drive?”

I had spoken to them both on the phone numerous times since Stephanie had hunted me down but hearing them from right there in the driveway flooded me with memories of our time together. It was overwhelming, but it put things into perspective. I was their old college friend, and the nickelodeon playing in my head, flashing memories of our time together back then, reminded me of that with a guilty jolt.

That was my reality: nerdy sidekick who ran away from the only friends he’d ever had because of some stupid gay boy’s crush on his straight best friend. My reality decidedly was not the handsome young man who thought I looked like Superman, and who’d killed some time in my home and in my bed. That was a fantasy, a moment out of time, trapped as we were in that snow globe. The globe had shattered, setting us free, and I convinced myself that Austin would use his newfound freedom to put any thought of us out of his head. It made me glad we’d talked during the drive, and that we hadn’t arrived as some secret couple.

“Where are you hiding him, Aus?” I heard backs being slapped, and I could picture my old friend embracing his son.

“Nice to see you, too, Dad,” Austin joked, and I couldn’t help but smile. Just because he wasn’t meant for me didn’t mean I could ignore all the things that charmed me about Austin. His lighthearted nature and witty humor were right up there with his empathy and intuition. He would make a good pediatrician, I decided, and like with his father before him, I had to stop myself from imagining him doing so in a snowy little mountain town, where he could come home to his doting older partner and share the successes and sorrows of his days. My heart ached for a loss that was not real.

I popped the hatch and buried my head inside, dragging the heavy cooler to the edge.

“Whoa, hold up, Randall! Leave that. It’s too big for one person.”

Austin was at my side with a few quick steps, leaning into the vehicle so close to me that our shoulders touched. I think I felt him lean into me in a subtly quick motion, his shoulder communicating with mine. He reached for his duffle bag as he whispered to me, “Go on, say hi to Mom and Dad.” His soft, sweet smile let me know he understood everything I was feeling. It would have been so nice to be with someone who understood how I felt.

“Deep breath,” I muttered out loud before I could think the better of it. Austin still had his head in the trunk with me, and we moved luggage around, pretending to be unloading our things.

“You got this, babe.”

I stood too quickly and clipped my head on the SUV. Austin reached out and caressed my forehead. “You okay?” I nodded. “Go!” His eyes danced.

I turned, and Marty was right there, may actually have been there long enough to see his son touch my face.

“Special Agent Martin Lessand,” Marty joked, reaching out a hand to me.