Page 55 of Technical Advances

“I like taking care of you,” I replied, finding the hair band I had tossed on the bed and handing it to him.

Next I wiped my own chest and then my ass, making a hissing sound of my own.

A look of concern clouded his beautiful smile once more. “Did I hurt you?” he asked as I turned to toss the towel in the general direction of my laundry basket.

“Huh?”

“You hardly … prepped,” he said as he absentmindedly pulled his hair back into a ponytail. It was easy to see that this was a natural move for him. I thought about how much I would like to watch him do it, over and over again, whether stepping out of the shower or after a hard workout at the gym, and especially after I’d been the one to help make it a sweaty, tangled mess.

I leaned over him then, not afraid to be thinking about the future as we shared a kiss that was earthshattering in its simplicity: a soft, simple brush of the lips, meant to be reassuring while behind my eyes, our entire lives played out in scenes of domestic bliss.

I pulled up and refocused on his question. “I’m fine. I promise. A little sore, but, like, you’re always a little sore after, you know?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Oh, don’t you …” I began to ask, and he shrugged. I climbed back on the bed and tucked myself in next to him, propping my head on his chest to look at him. He shook his head and took some time to formulate his answer.

“I mean, I would like to, I think, but the guys I’ve been with. They’ve all been … part-time.”

“Part-time?”

“Yeah, um. To me that just seems like …”

He sighed and shook his head no. “That’s not exactly it. Let me be honest … with you.” He smiled.

“I feel like you’ve come to know me these past few weeks, Benji.”

“I’d like to think we’ve come to know each other.”

“And you know I like things a certain way.”

“You keep things in order so that your mind can wander and invent without having to worry about everyday things.”

“Is that what I do? Huh, yeah. I’ve never thought of it that way.” He was quiet for a beat, then he repeated it. “Wow! I never thought of it that way. Thank you.”

I leaned forward and kissed his sternum. “No problem. Is that why you only top? Is it a control thing?”

“Control, routine, what I know.”

“And you’ve never …”

“Never.”

“But you might?”

“Would you want that?” he asked, and I answered honestly and quickly.

“Yes, but only if you do.” I saw his mind wander again, and I loved letting it. Loved watching his facial expressions and imagining those very erudite gears cranking in his brain.

“I think I do.”

I nodded in support.

“And, um, do you ever …”

“Ever what?” Anson questioned.

“You know …” I said, but maybe he didn’t, because he didn’t respond.