Page 34 of With All My Haunted Heart

“Is that seriously a rule?” Elle doesn’t wait for me to reply, though, grabbing the die and rolling a five. She moves her piece, landing in a purple space. Secrets. Drawing a card from the top of the pile, she reads silently to herself.

“You’re supposed to put it face up on the discard pile so I can see it,” I prompt.

She taps the back of the card and clears her throat. “ ‘Name something that you’re scared to do without alcohol/weed.’ ” Elle flicks her gaze from the card to my face. “How did you play this with Alex without realizing he was a total stoner?”

“I grew up sheltered. Sue me.” I point a chip at her before dipping it into the salsa. “Are you going to answer or are you going back to the beginning?”

Elle worries at her lower lip. “Fine. My therapist says I’m supposed to ‘process my feelings’ or whatever, but sometimes, I can’t stomach the idea of feeling this much. So occasionally…I let weed make it easier for me.”

She studies the crystal tower like she’s afraid it’ll topple over. It doesn’t.

“Nights like tonight?” I ask, wondering what emotions sent her looking for an escape and what caused them. It can’t just be business stress. Xander said her errand today was personal. Was she at therapy? Did she drive all the way back to Queens to see an established therapist there?

But if that’s all it was, why would Xander be cagey about it? He encouraged me to start therapy after my family kicked me out. He knows I’m pro-therapy now, despite the way I was raised.

I didn’t tell Lou about your family stuff.

I won’t get into her stuff with you.

Elle sets her card face up in the discard pile. “I didn’t think follow-up questions were part of the game.”

Rather than respond, I roll the die and move forward a measly two spaces. I draw a pink card—romance—and groan.

Who was your first kiss? Don’t be stingy with details!

I place the card on top of Elle’s so she can read it. “Okay, first kiss. It was junior year of high school with a girl named Daphne. We ended up dating for over a year, but she broke up with me right before prom.”

Elle’s eyes go wide. “Oof, that’s harsh timing. What happened?”

“I thought follow-up questions weren’t part of this?” I tease, but I find that I want to open up. I want her to know me. And if I drop my walls, she might, too. “Daphne wanted to go to prom together, do the whole meet the parents, take a ton of photos, get a limo with friends thing. But I…I wasn’t ready for my parents to find out about her. She didn’t want to be kept a secret, so she dumped me.”

“I’m sorry.” Elle picks up the die and weighs it in her palm. “Were your parents conservative?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking. They’ve never cared that I’m bisexual. The fact that Daphne wasn’t a witch, though…That would have been unacceptable.”

“Is that still a consideration?” she asks, and I swear there’s a hint of disappointment in her voice. “Do you only date witches?”

A humorless laugh escapes my lips. “I doubt my parents give a shit who I date now that they’ve disowned me.”

“They—”

“Kicked me out of the family? Yup.” I lean back, but the surge of grief I expect doesn’t come, dulled by the high that’s starting to infiltrate my system. “I haven’t seen any of them in five years. Not even Flora.” The mention of my sister does stir something in me, a mix of feelings too tangled and hurt and bitter to look at closely.

“I’m sorry, Pippa.” Elle drops the die and reaches for my hand. “When you mentioned your family yesterday, I didn’t realize how fraught your relationship was. I’m sorry I keep sticking my foot in my mouth.”

I can barely concentrate on her words when her hand is in mine and she’s staring at me with such naked concern. It makes my heart want to believe in impossible things. “Your turn,” I say, the words little more than a breath.

Elle rolls and moves forward three spaces. She turns her card onto the pile.

Describe the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done.

I don’t know whether I love college-age Xander or hate him right now. I also don’t know whether I should give Elle a pass on this question or keep my mouth shut on the off chance she’s willing to answer. On the chance that she might want me to know.

When I manage to drag my gaze from the card to Elle’s face, I find her deliciously flushed as she considers her answer.

“If you go back to the beginning, I won’t be much ahead of you,” I offer to give her an out.

But Elle shakes her head. “I’m far too competitive to start over.”