Page 74 of With All My Haunted Heart

“At work, I kept up appearances as best I could, but at night, I’d stay up late experimenting with new magic. I pushed the limits of what I knew how to do. Partially out of spite. Partially to prove to myself that what I was doing mattered. It might have been fine, but then I found out my ex was dating someone new, and I decided the best cure for heartbreak was to find a hotter hookup.”

Elle sits up abruptly to look at me, concern written all over her face. “Did someone hurt you?”

“Not the way you’re thinking. I was always safe, and I made sure to only date mundanes, people who had no idea who my family was or that I was a witch. But then I swiped right on Grayson.”

All these years later, the first thing I remember is how attractive he was. The sun-kissed skin. The silky brown hair. Full lips. Slightly crooked nose, the imperfection making him even more perfect.

“We only went on one date. He was charming and funny and hot. I wanted to impress him, and when I mentioned that I was a witch, he lit up like it was Christmas. I showed him some of the magic I was experimenting with, and he seemed so into it. It had been ages since someone supported that part of me, it was like I couldn’t shut up. I told him how frustrating it was that the witch community was obsessed with tradition. How my mother was too stuck in the past to have a vision for the future. At the end of the night, instead of taking me home with him, he’d kissed me good night and promised to call.

“It sounds naive now, but I thought it was sweet that he wanted to take things slow. I thought he saw something special in me, something that deserved better than a one-night stand. Except the whole thing was a lie. Grayson had known who I was from the moment we matched on the dating app. He’d known who my mother was the entire time.”

“How?” Elle’s brows knit. “I thought you were only going out with mundanes.”

The concern that creases her forehead, the protective gleam in her eye, loosens something in me. It makes this part of my past feel a little less shameful. Like it wasn’t entirely my fault.

“Grayson wasn’t a witch, but he followed witch politics. Not all mundanes love that we have equal protections by law. Or, as they see it, that we get ‘special treatment’ since NACOW oversees magic-related offenses. Turns out, Grayson was among that crowd. He’d only pretended to appreciate my magic.

“Even worse, he was also an investigative reporter. Instead of taking me home that night, Grayson wrote a scathing article about the ‘dangers’ of my experiments. He used everything I’d shared to argue that witches shouldn’t be self-governing. All ‘how can we trust witches to regulate themselves when the head of NACOW can’t keep her own daughter in line.’ The article was everywhere the next morning.”

“Oh no.”

“In the best of times, Nanette Erikson’s reaction would have been apocalyptic.” I brush a stray tear from my cheek. “But it was the middle of her reelection campaign. Her approval ratings plummeted among both witches and mundanes. She decided I was a complication she didn’t need.”

You have disgraced this family for the last time.

You are no longer an Erikson.

“Mom kicked me out, stripped me of my last name, and hasn’t talked to me since.” I shrug like it doesn’t matter despite the tears escaping the confines of my lashes. “She managed to spin the article and ultimately won the election, but that didn’t change her decision. And, honestly, even if it had, I wouldn’t have gone back. I’d rather not have a family than have one that hates everything about me.”

“You have a family,” Xander says from the doorway, and I drop Elle’s hand in a panic. “You have me. And Dea.”

“And me, too,” Elle says, slipping off the bed to put space between us.

I swallow past the emotion tightening my throat and return my focus to Xander. “I didn’t hear you come in,” I say, hoping I don’t sound as startled and guilty as I feel.

Xander winces. “Sorry for barging in. Laney wants to talk to you, and their messages were getting shouty.”

Fresh guilt batters against my ribs. Sebastian liked the new ghosts, but that doesn’t mean Laney will. That doesn’t mean they’ll forgive me as easily as Xander and Elle have. “Which spirit board are they at?”

“They asked to speak to you face-to-face.” Xander holds up a pair of ghost goggles. “I had a feeling you might need these. I assume your magic is still drained.”

“You know what they say about assuming,” I quip as I pull myself out of bed. “You are right, though. This time.” I accept the goggles and slide them on.

Xander nudges me out the door. “Laney said they were heading to the library. When you’re done, come find me in the kitchen. I had Olli put together something to tide you over until dinner.”

I find Laney standing alone in the library, staring out the massive windows that overlook the manor’s property. They glance over their shoulder at me. “You’re back.”

Their voice is neutral, and I have to swallow past the lump in my throat to get words out. “I’m sorry, Laney. I didn’t mean to banish everyone, but it was my fault. I overstepped my magical limits, and you have every right to hate me.”

Laney turns fully around and drops their head to one side, teal hair spilling down past their shoulder. “Yikes, Pip. Have you ever seen a therapist? Because I think you should see one. That’s some hardcore self-judgment.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Alex explained what happened. You obviously didn’t do it on purpose. And sure, am I sad that the four of them are gone? Obviously. We’d started to click. But we were together for like two weeks.” Laney props their hands on their hips and rolls their eyes at me. “You act like you ripped away my lifelong best friends. And like you did it on purpose to be an asshole.”

“Oh.” I sink into one of the chairs at the table where Elle and I sat and worked together my first week here. “So…we’re good? You didn’t ask me here because you want to leave? Xander made it seem like you were upset. He said your messages on the spirit board were shouty.”

They sigh. “See, this is why I wanted to talk to you. The spirit boards are great, but they don’t convey tone. I was excited to talk to you. Besides, I always use all caps. That doesn’t mean I’m angry. It’s just how I write.”