Page 95 of With All My Haunted Heart

“No, I know. This isn’t about her.” Elle swallows hard, and when I turn around, there’s tension in her jaw. “Well, it is a little. I owe you a massive apology.”

“You—”

“Need to apologize, yes. I was devastated that night, but it’s no excuse for how I treated you.” Elle reaches out like she means to touch my arm, but she lets her hand drop back to her side before we connect.

A strangled hope grabs hold of my heart. The people who throw me out of their lives never come back to apologize, but Elle is here. In my apartment. Talking to me.

“All you ever did was try to help, Pippa. You did help, and when you offered to be there for me, I pushed you away. I thought it would be easier, but fuck, I was such an idiot. Nothing about your absence is easier.”

“Ellie…”

“And then after I treated you like shit, you still handled that mess with the NACOW application. Alex told me you had to talk to your sister, even though it’s been years since you’ve seen her. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you, and the fact that you’d do that, after everything—”

“Elle, hold on.” This time, I’m successful at cutting her off, and I reach for her hands. Her fingers are freezing, but that doesn’t stop her touch from feeling like home. “Do you know where I was headed when I opened my front door?”

“No,” she says, but there’s hope in her eyes.

Hope that feels like magic.

“I was about to get in my car and drive to Oak Spires. I was coming to find you. To see if you meant it when you told me to walk away or if you were hoping I’d come back.”

Elle bites her lower lip. “Pippa Ainsley, were you going to grand gesture me?”

I can’t even be coy. “Yes. I was. I don’t have a big speech planned or anything. I was going to use the drive for that.”

“That’s okay. I have one.” She breathes deep and fixes her aventurine gaze on mine. “I want you to come back to Midnight Manor. I want you to move in. Permanently this time. Alex misses you. The ghosts miss you, especially Laney. They keep asking when you’ll come back to visit. Apparently, you owe Laney a weekly Taylor Swift concert?”

A laugh bubbles out of me. “I think Laney wants you to play that Eras Tour movie for them. You don’t need me for that.”

“You’re right. We don’t need you.” Elle’s words land like a bucket of ice water, but when I try to pull away, she holds tight to my hands. “We want you, Pippa. I want you.”

The thrill of those words is stymied by logic and reason and, if I’m honest, fear. “I’ve missed you so much. I think about you all the time, and I do want to give us another try.”

“But?”

“I can’t uproot everything and move in with you.” This time, I do drop her hands. I need space. I need to move. But pacing the apartment doesn’t work, not with Waffles and Cocoa constantly underfoot. I settle for tangling my hands in my hair. “You’ve been through hell, Ellie. I’m not saying no to being together, but you threw me out of your life. I can’t forget that. I can’t jump from heartbreak to living together on a whim.”

“It’s not a whim,” she says, voice firm. “Alex and I had a whole plan to ask you to move in that night. We had a whole speech worked out, but then Viv called before we got the chance, and—” Elle squeezes her eyes and swallows the rise of emotion that has thickened her voice.

“And then I failed to save Willa.”

“No.” Elle shakes her head, dislodging tears that make twin tracks down her cheeks. “Because of you, we got to say a proper goodbye. I couldn’t see it then, but what you did for us that night? Most people never get a chance like that. We got to hear her voice one last time, Pip. I got to hear her laugh. You have no idea what a gift that was.”

“Ellie…”

“And instead of honoring that gift, I let myself get lost in what I thought was supposed to happen. I broke your trust, and I’m so, so sorry.” She brushes the tears from her face. “Please, Pippa. Come back. Come home.”

Home. The allure of it burns bright in my chest. I don’t have a physical location for my business anymore. I can cancel my lease with thirty days’ notice, and with the bonus I got from haunting the B&B, I wouldn’t even miss that money if I decided to move out early.

“I want to, Elle. I really do. The time we spent together was incredible. I was ready to give you my whole heart. Part of me still wants to, wants to trust and leap and worry about the consequences later. But if we’re going to do this, we should do it right. I don’t want to rush things. I don’t think we should live together so soon.”

Elle smiles at me like I’m the most wonderful thing she’s ever seen. “You brilliant, incredible woman. I’m not asking you to move in with me.”

“But you said—”

“I want you to be happy, Pip. I saw how much you loved the B&B. How much you loved spending time with Alex. And I know I’m a mess right now. I know I need to earn back your trust. That takes time.”

I slump onto the couch and stare up at her, completely lost. “ ‘Brilliant’ might have been an exaggeration. I’m still confused.”