Page 180 of The Dark Lord’s Guide to Honeymooning (and Other Acts of Tyranny)

She studied me for a moment, her silver eyes unreadable. “Speaking of which—you and Lady Blackrose seem different lately.”

The strain in our relationship since the God Spire was obvious to anyone who knew us well, and Vex knew us better than most.

“What did she tell you?” I asked, my voice low.

“Nothing specific. But I’ve served you for almost fifteen years, my lord. I notice things.”

The reminder of our history only intensified my discomfort. Vex had been there through some of my darkest moments. She’d seen me at my worst and stayed anyway. But this—this was different. This wasn’t about conquest or power or even vengeance.

This was about how I’d attempted to use my dominion magic on the one person I’d sworn never to control.

The one person who mattered more than anything.

A hairline crack appeared in the stone where my hand pressed against the wall. I pulled back, flexing my fingers. The runes pulsed with heat, then cold, then heat again. My body couldn’t decide if it wanted to burn or freeze.

“I may have fucked everything up,” I admitted. The words scraped my throat raw, and saying them aloud made my chest constrict.

Vex leaned against the opposite wall. “If it was truly unsalvageable, she would have already killed you.”

I snorted. “Is that supposed to be comforting?”

“It’s perspective.” She folded her arms. “Lady Blackrose isn’t exactly known for her restraint when crossed. The fact that you’re still breathing suggests she believes there’s something worth saving.”

“Or she’s planning something particularly creative for my demise.” My voice cracked on the last word. Shit. I was falling apart, piece by piece, and Vex was watching it happen.

The shadows coiled tighter around my ankles, climbing up my legs like chains.

“Always a possibility.” Vex’s tone softened slightly. “What happened at the Spire?”

I looked away, studying the tapestry on the alcove wall. Telling Vex would mean admitting my weakness, my failure. It would mean speaking aloud the fear that had been gnawing at me since that night.

That I was becoming something I couldn’t control.

That I was losing myself.

That I was going to hurt Arabella, and I wouldn’t be able to stop it.

You were always meant for this, whispered a voice that wasn’t quite mine. Dominion is your birthright.

The runes flared hot enough to make me gasp. I pressed my hand against my chest, feeling them burn beneath skin and bone.

“I tried to control her,” I forced out. Each word felt like pulling thorns from my throat.

Vex didn’t respond immediately. The silence stretched, broken only by the distant sounds of chaos from the Great Hall and my own ragged breathing.

“Physically?” she asked finally, her voice carefully neutral.

“Magically.” I grimaced. “We were at the Gilded Gallows. She saw Pip—or who we thought was Pip—and I wanted to go after him. She wanted to come with me. I—”

I couldn’t finish.

“Ah.” Just that single syllable, loaded with understanding.

“It didn’t work,” I added quickly, desperately. The shadows were climbing higher now, wrapping around my ribs. “She broke through it immediately. But I still did it. I still tried.”

“And now? How do you feel about what you did?”

I turned back to face Vex, and I knew my eyes were too bright. Knew she could see the cracks in my armor, the way I was barely holding on to my magic. The Shadow King’s essence coiled inside me like a hungry serpent, and I knew he would use this vulnerability against me.