Page 126 of Big Bad Wolf

But she kept walking and felt him keep stride beside her. “I miss you making me breakfast. Lena tried yesterday and I had to pretend to like my toast burned and my eggs runny.”

Still nothing.

Ruby sighed and adjusted her bag on her shoulder. “This purse is awfully heavy. I sure wish a big strong man would come out and carry it for me,” she said in her best damsel-in-distress voice, hand on her forehead for dramatic effect.

A wolfy breath cut through the sound of the forest. Ruby bit down on a smile. “I miss that wolfy sound you always make.”

He did it again, the low breathy noise teasing Ruby with its closeness.

“I’m glad you’re still there. Even though I should be pissed at you. Even though I kind of am.”

They were nearly at her cottage now, and she dreaded the moment he would leave her again. “For a minute there, I really thought this would work. I thought we understood each other. I thought we were inevitable…”

She swallowed the tears that rose up in her throat. She considered telling him about Knox’s visit. It might draw him out; his instinct to protect her was clearly still intact. But she’d told him before, she didn’t want a bodyguard. She just wanted him.

“If this is the only way I can have you, then I’ll take it. Just knowing you’re there, listening. I’ll take it.”

The light from her windows spilled into the yard, and she stopped at the edge, not wanting to leave him. She turned in time to see silver eyes watching her from the dark before she made her way slowly to the door.

The yard was covered in leaves, brown and orange and gold. Her feet crunched through them. It was cold tonight, the chill of winter already starting to seep in around the edges of fall. She pulled her aunt’s red cloak tighter around her. She’d taken to wearing it every day. It smelled like Aunt Millie, like sage and rosemary. It was comforting when everything else was such a mess.

When she reached the back door, she turned, hoping for one more glimpse.

But Rafe was already gone.

She sighed. As angry as she was with him for turning her away, Ruby knew Rafe was the one in more pain here. She had her sister and her friends and even Sal and Macy and the other regulars at the bar. Ruby had a community here she hadn’t even acknowledged before.

Rafe was alone without his pack.

Without her.

She just hoped it didn’t take too long for him to realize what she already knew. She would love him for the rest of her life. He’d been right. Fate hadn’t made a mistake with them.

This was exactly where she was supposed to be.

Chapter Fifty-Four

Rafe waited for her every night for a week at the edge of the woods, just like before. He walked her home, just like before. He stuck to the shadows, just like before. His life was running on a tortuous loop, and it was his own damn fault.

Knox’s words about keeping Ruby safe were like a toxin in his blood. Every time he thought he was close to purging them, they came back to the surface. But Knox had forgotten something. A truth Rafe kept reminding himself of, the fact like a balm to his wounds. Scarlet didn’t want him, didn’t accept him. But Ruby did.

She had all along. Even her terror had been for his safety, not about his misdeeds. And still he’d pushed her away. Still he balked at being with her, at having the one thing that would make him happy after living decades with only half a soul.

He was an idiot.

And for some reason she was still talking to him, still holding on to this thing between them because it was too fucking precious to let it go. Still acting like he wasn’t a monster at all. And slowly it was sinking in. Slowly it was replacing things he’d thought about himself for years.

Ruby’s steady belief in him, along with Nell’s words, worked to chip away at the image he had of himself. With every day that passed, every night spent walking beside Ruby, Rafe’s confidence in his decision to stay away from her wavered. He’d acted out of decades-old fear and a lifetime of believing he wasn’t worth loving.

But Nell loved him. His brothers … tolerated him. Maybe even wanted him around? Sal and Dolores accepted him. Could Ruby love him too?

“Macy sent home chicken parm tonight.” Ruby’s chatter interrupted his thoughts and Rafe smiled. Chicken parm was her favorite.

“That should make me happy.” Her voice was too far away, so he slunk closer, stealthy even in his human form. “But food can only do so much, you know?”

He winced. He couldn’t keep doing this. He was hurting her. That wolf attack had not been his damn fault, but this … this sorrow in Ruby’s voice, this was his fucking fault.

“It’s hard being without you. Do you feel it too?”