Page 73 of Big Bad Wolf

He stared at her wide-eyed, afraid. Afraid of what he might do.

“I’m not a pet, Ruby. I’m not a dog. I’m a fucking werewolf.” A muscle ticked in his jaw.

She rocked her hips over his bulging erection, and they both groaned, their voices filling the confines of the truck.

“I’m aware.”

“Ruby,” he hissed, his fingers pressing into her hips, holding her still. “Do you want to know why I left the pack?”

He didn’t wait for her response before he went on. “My father wanted me to kill my brothers, to take my rightful place as the Alpha. I was the biggest, the strongest. He wanted it to be me.”

Ruby swallowed hard.

“But you didn’t do it.”

“We fought for hours, the three of us. He was always making us do shit like that. Fighting our way to Alpha. He wanted the whole pack to see which one of us was worthy.”

“That’s fucked up, Rafe, but it doesn’t mean anything about us.”

“It does,” he growled. “It means everything about who I am. What I am, Ruby.”

“Tell me,” she said, running her fingers through his hair. “Tell me what you are.”

He held her gaze as he went on. “By the time the rain started we were already exhausted and injured. Theo was the weakest. I could have picked him off easily.

“My father screamed at me from beside the ring. ‘Kill him! Kill him!’ The old bastard was dying and wanted to see the new Alpha crowned before he left this world. I pinned Theo to the ground. My own brother, my own blood. He fought me, clawing and scraping. I slashed his face, blood pouring into his eyes. You saw it, Ruby. You saw the scar.” He held her stare, and she nodded, not backing away from his pain.

“I could have ended it, but I hesitated. Knox barreled into us, his teeth at my throat. And I was happy, relieved. If he would just kill me, I could be done with it all. With everything my father wanted from us.”

Rafe’s eyes glowed bright silver, his voice a deep growl. Even his teeth seemed longer, sharper. She put a hand on Rafe’s chest, and she could practically feel the beast prowling beneath his human skin.

“But then I saw her. Phoebe. She was hiding in the trees, watching, silent tears trailing down her face. Her eyes never left Theo. He lay in the mud, chest heaving, face covered in blood. I’d done that to him. My own brother. But Knox was at my throat. I was pinned on my back, the only thing stopping him from killing me was my paws on his chest. If I let him kill me, he’d kill Theo next. I did the only thing I could think of. A desperate, disgusting thing.”

His breath came in long shuddering gasps like he’d just been in the ring, like the fight hadn’t been over a year ago. His eyes were dark with the memories.

“I shifted. Back into human form, right in the ring. It shocked the hell out of everyone. It’s forbidden. Wolves only fight as wolves. I shamed my father and my pack. Knox didn’t know what to do. I used everyone’s surprise to my advantage. I screamed at Theo to run and he did. Sloppily and half blind he ran into the woods. My father came into the ring, raging but so old and sick I wasn’t scared of him anymore.

“He spat at my feet, my bare, human feet drowning in mud. ‘Get the fuck out of here. You are dead to us,’ he screamed. So I did. So I am. I’m dead to my pack, but I’m also a shitty human. I’m nothing.”

“You saved your brothers,” she whispered, and he laughed, low and mocking.

“Goddamn it, Ruby. Get it through your head. I’ve done nothing but fight and kill my whole life. And then in the end all I did was shame my people. I’m both a monster and a coward.”

“But—”

“Stop.” His voice was hard and cold, unmovable. “Stop trying to see me as something else. End this ridiculous infatuation. You are a silly little girl who likes ghost stories, but I am not a story, and I will hurt you.”

She swallowed the sharp, angry tears clogging her throat.

“Have it your way.” She slung her leg back over his lap, returning to her side of the truck as gracefully as possible, which wasn’t very considering the situation. “Maybe I am silly and ridiculous.” He winced like he already regretted the words. “But you’re the one still believing all the lies your father told you. You’re the one with a completely warped view of himself. All this talk of protecting me when all you really want to do is protect yourself.”

“Ruby, wait. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said⁠—”

She glanced back at him over her shoulder before hopping down from the truck. “But for the record, I still fucking like you anyway.”

She pulled her jacket around her, slammed the truck door shut, and stormed through the rain and into the house.

Chapter Thirty