Page 5 of What We Got Wrong

“I will literally never turn down that offer,” Quinn stated. “The cafeteria in the building next door is food court style, with lots of different options. Does that work?”

“Sounds great,” Liv told her, and she followed Quinn out of the room.

“Are you sure that’s all you want?” Quinn asked as Liv sat down next to her in the cafeteria with a simple salad. To make her point clear, Quinn took a bite of giant sandwich before continuing to speak. “I am not trying to pressure you, but you said you were hungry, and that doesn’t look particularly filling.”

“I like salads,” Liv assured her. “Plus, I think I just need to ease into all of these options. Can’t go home at Christmas having put on the freshman fifteen!”

“First of all, please don’t body shame yourself,” Quinn said, adding after eyeing Liv up and down, “And second, I’m sure you’re going to be okay.”

Liv wasn’t sure exactly how to feel about what Quinn said. There was a level of embarrassment, sure. She didn’t want to think about her body that way, but that kind of commentary was what she was used to with her female friends. And then, there was something about how Quinn had looked at her… It made her ears warm.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, and Liv realized that it was the first time Quinn had stopped talking all afternoon. She needed to change the subject, so she cleared her throat and asked, “What’s your sport?”

“I’m here on a swimming scholarship, actually,” Quinn answered. “Well, part swimming, part academics.”

“So, do you swim every day?” Liv asked. They’d finished their meals and worked together to clean off the table before heading outside to walk back to their dorm.

“As much as I can,” Quinn replied. “I have a ton of energy and I need to stay busy. Been thinking about taking up running in the off-season, too.”

“I can help with that! I love to run,” Liv said, proud that she had something that she could offer Quinn.

“Excellent. Weird, but excellent. My ex-girlfriend was in cross country. She tried, but I was too busy with swim.”

Liv stopped in her tracks, shocked by what Quinn had said. It’s not like she didn’t know that gay people existed, obviously, but she’d never been friends with a gay…and she’d certainly never had someone say something so casually homosexual to her.

“Hey, are you okay?” Quinn asked, turning to her when she noticed that Liv wasn’t following. “Did I say something… Oh.”

Liv could see Quinn realize, with perfect clarity, what had set her off. Her entire chest deflated, and she seemed to shrink several inches. It was like her glow just…dimmed.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I thought you knew. I mean…” Quinn waved her arms, gesturing across her own face and body. “You see me, right? I just assume people know. I have a carabiner clipped to my shorts, for God’s sake. I’m a walking stereotype… I’m sorry.”

Liv took a moment to look Quinn over: her long, loose shorts, her simple baggy T-shirt, and, yes, her keys on that clip, apparently some sort of gay in-joke. She wasn’t familiar with all the stereotypes, but now that Quinn mentioned it, there was certainly an aesthetic that Liv would’ve classified as “tomboy” prior to this conversation.

She felt like an absolute moron.

“Why would you be sorry?” Liv replied, careful with her words, trying to keep her tone even. “I was just…surprised.”

They could both hear how stilted her words were, and there was a sudden, unexpected wedge between them. Quietly, they climbed the stairs to their room, but as soon as they sat down on their respective beds, Quinn jumped up.

“Hey, I just remembered…I’m supposed to meet my friend, Emma, at the gym for a leg workout.”

“Quinn, you don’t have to go,” Liv said, somehow feeling like she had ruined the first good thing in her life in as long as she could remember.

“No, it’s okay,” Quinn said, though it clearly wasn’t okay. Liv watched as she grabbed a duffel bag before turning back, a small, sad smile on her face. “I’ll see you later.”

With that, she left, and Liv felt truly alone for the first time all day.

She didn’t want to cry, though a few tears slipped out. What she wanted to do was call her sister, but as it wasn’t an option—that truth alone causing a ripple of pain through her chest—she decided to go for a walk to clear her head. She couldn’t just sit in her dorm room by herself, not on her first day of freedom, and not when it felt so lonely in the absence of Quinn’s larger-than-life presence.

Liv wandered over to the bookstore, walking up and down the aisles, seeing many of the other new students shopping with their parents. It didn’t make her miss her own family, exactly, but it did make her nostalgic for a memory she’d never have.

Her mind circled back to Quinn, and she felt the weight of her mistake again. She needed to find a way to say she was sorry, to let Quinn know that she’d do her best to not continue being a complete ass. Sure, they had only just met, but they were supposed to be roommates for the entire school year. It wasn’t just that, though. Liv felt terrible, and she genuinely did not want to ruin her chance at a friendship with the first person that she had instantly clicked with since maybe grade school.

Liv made her way over to the apparel section of the bookstore. It was a small gesture, but based on her immediate impression of Quinn, she didn’t think that her new friend would begrudge a silly token, especially if it came with a genuine apology. She grabbed a few things, guessing Quinn’s size, adding a Livingston State University hoodie for herself to the stack as well.

A few hours later, Quinn returned to their room. She was freshly showered, and she’d changed into black sweatpants and yet another school T-shirt, this one a heather grey. She smelled like eucalyptus and mint, but the thing Liv most noticed, beyond all of that, was how happy she felt to see her roommate. That, and how guarded Quinn looked compared to earlier that day.

“What’s this?” Quinn said, holding up the gifts: a T-shirt, a baseball cap, and a hoodie, all with their school logo.