Page 32 of Nixon’s Promise

I held my breath and waited. This was one of those times I wasn’t sure what the right answer was. I didn’t want Zack to think that violence and fighting was the answer. But maybe in this case it was.

“I did,” Nixon told him after a beat.

“Then I’m all right.”

Zack zeroed in on Nix and me holding hands. I didn’t know which was worse—him seeing Nix’s bloodied knuckles or me holding hands with a man.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I asked.

“Yeah, but not right now. I’m gonna go ride my dirt bike.”

“Okay.”

Zack started to walk to the barn when he turned. “Hey, Nixon?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“Thanks for today.”

“Anytime.”

They exchanged the age-old male ritual of chin lifts and nods, then Zack was back on his way, Duke following him.

“You wanna stay for dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“I need to go talk to Mandy first, then I’ll start the grill.”

“No, you don’t. First, you need to go sit on the porch with a beer and relax. Then you can go talk to Mandy and I’ll start the grill.”

So. Damn. Bossy.

“Do you know how to cook?”

“Nope.”

“Then you can’t touch my grill.”

“Babe, there’s a difference between cookin’ and grillin’.”

I rolled my eyes and started for the house. There wasn’t a difference, at least not in my book, but I was too tired to argue. Nix was right, sitting on the porch having a beer sounded like a great idea.

We were sitting on my awesome outdoor patio furniture, with beers in hand, watching Duke sniff around the paddock. I was pressed against Nix’s side, his arm above my shoulders. He’d claimed me the second I’d sat down next to him. My insides felt funny and I wondered if I’d overreacted the other night.

Maybe I’d misinterpreted the look he’d given me. Maybe I was so overwhelmed with what I’d felt I was finding reasons to leave. I hadn’t had much good in my life lately, and never any luck in the man department, therefore me running away from something that felt good, wasn’t out of the question. And I had avoided him. Even going as far as working at the library so I wouldn’t be home.

Sally and Goat were both grazing and I remembered why I’d bought this place. This was what I wanted for my family. When I’d moved in, I was single, no prospects on the horizon, but I’d known this was where I wanted to raise my kids if I ever had any. I wanted them to have wide open spaces. Freedom to roam. And quiet to learn and grow. The peace this land offered to settle their minds.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay and listen.” Nix’s hand squeezed my shoulder, encouraging me to go on. “I was too afraid to hear you tell me you’d regretted being with me. Because all I could think about was, until that moment with you, I’d never truly been intimate with anyone. I’d never felt intensity like that. And I was scared to hear you say you hadn’t felt the same thing. I know it was just sex, and I don’t expect any promises, but that night meant something and I didn’t want the memory of it ruined. So, I left.”

It was easier talking about it when I couldn’t see his face. I wasn’t sure why I’d confessed what I had, only that it seemed right. He deserved to know the truth.

“Thank you.” His voice had turned deep and husky. “It meant something to me, too.”

His words felt like silk flowing over my skin.

We fell back into silence and I hoped I knew what I was doing. Not only with snuggling into Nixon’s warm body, but with Mandy and Zack, too.