Page 44 of Nixon’s Promise

I was in deeper than I should’ve been. I should’ve listened to Becky, but I didn’t. I hadn’t even tried to be careful around Nixon. I hadn’t tried to protect my heart. I’d opened it up, welcomed him in, and hoped he’d want to stay awhile.

Damn.

This could get painful.

18

Nixon was standing in his kitchen looking out the window, watching McKenna work through her thoughts. He did this wondering why he’d pressed her on how’d she’d feel about his new job. He’d also told her he’d been married. Something he never liked to talk about. Alison was a distant, painful memory.

He’d been truthful with McKenna. He hadn’t loved his wife. He had cared for her a great deal, and she was there for him after he’d fucked up an op and got one of his teammates killed. He’d hesitated, and in that second of indecisiveness Paul had been killed.

When Nix got home from that mission, he was not in a good place. Alison had been there for him, she never wavered in her support, and if she’d done one kind thing for him, it was when she held him when he’d finally broken down. She’d told him repeatedly no one had blamed him. She’d also gone with him when he’d visited Paul’s very pregnant widow, Charleigh.

But in the end, Nix knew he had to cut her loose. There were many reasons, her bitchiness on the top of the list, but only a close second to the fact he knew he didn’t love her and never would. And that could’ve been part of Alison’s problem—she’d married a man who cared for her, was thankful she’d shown him kindness, but would never feel anything beyond that.

He’d fucked up huge marrying her.

On that thought, he’d picked up his plate and headed back outside. McKenna was sitting in one of the old wicker chairs he’d saved. Nix could still remember sitting out on the deck with his dad in the summertime. They’d come in from working all day and they’d sit and look out over the pasture as the sun set. Some days, by the time they’d made it up to the house, the sun would be set and they’d simply enjoy the quiet.

He missed those days. Missed his dad, too.

Nixon wondered what Wayne would think of McKenna. He didn’t have to think on it too long, he knew. His dad would be smitten. Any woman who could change her own oil, work on her truck, and care for her animals was the kind of woman the old man would call a keeper.

Wayne would’ve gotten a kick out of Zack, too. He was a good kid, eager to learn, and fast to work. Mandy? Now her, well, Nix’s dad wouldn’t know what to make of the teenager. He’d likely light her ass up about being so lazy. Then he’d settle down and with a gentle hand, teach her what it meant to be a good steward of the land. That was his dad, always wanting to share what he’d learned over his life. He always had some tidbit of wisdom impart.

“You okay?” Nix asked as he settled in with his plate on his lap.

McKenna flashed a bright white smile and his heart lurched. He could get used to seeing that smile.

“Would you stop asking me that?” she joked.

“Sorry, you just look like the gears in your head are working overtime. I wasn’t sure if I should be on the lookout for smoke.”

“Smartass.” She looked down at her lap and was picking her nail when she finally stopped and looked over at him. “I was just thinking about what it would mean for us if you left. Not that there’s an us, us, but I mean—”

“Oh, there’s an us,” he assured her. “What part about me leaving worries you?”

“There is?”

“Fuck, yeah, there is. Babe, your chocolate chip cookies are good, your sweet, slick pussy is better, but I wanted you here tonight because I wanted time with you.”

“Yeah, you said that, you wanted time to take it slow and taste all the parts you missed.” McKenna’s face was scarlet, but through her embarrassment she still managed to raise an eyebrow in challenge.

She was cute as hell when she was being sassy. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss the smug look clean off her face or encourage her attitude.

“I didn’t lie. We will be taking a good portion of this evening to explore. I want to see, touch, taste, and memorize every inch of you. But, babe, that includes all of you. I want to know more about your job. What you like to do for fun. Who taught you how to work on cars. Why’d you want to live in the middle of nowhere. And what the hell possessed you to buy fucking ducks. I want to know everything you’re willing to share.”

And that was the God’s honest truth and it scared the holy fuck out of Nixon. He’d tried, not very hard, but he had put forth some small amount of effort to stop thinking about McKenna. However, over the two weeks she’d ghosted his ass, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Couldn’t stop wondering what it was about her that made him lose his mind. Nix liked control, he felt safe and secure when he was in charge. And as much as he would like to think that he’d been the one calling the shots that first night in his kitchen, he was not.

McKenna had all the control, and it was both intriguing and terrifying.

“What’s wrong with my ducks?” She looked totally affronted.

“You have ducks that swim in a plastic baby pool.” He told her something she already knew.

“So?”

“Babe. Have you not noticed that you’re surrounded by water? Forgetting the river, most people have ponds on their property. Ducks aren’t pets, they’re food.”