Page 40 of Jameson’s Salvation

“There’s nothing perfect about me. I screwed up. I own what I did and sometimes it’s still embarrassing living in this small town where I know everyone else remembers, too. I avoided Nixon for a long time, because I was so ashamed of how I’d behaved. I don’t belong on a pedestal.

“And I’m sure I want to take my chances and get to know you better. I’m sure that the things you’ve seen and things you’ve done have left a hole in your heart. But you, too, have a choice. And whatever decision you make is yours, and I will never change who I am. I won’t ever go back to a place where I’m ashamed to look in the mirror.”

Jameson was quiet as he processed all that I’d told him and I appreciated that, too. It was hard for me to tell him how I’d felt and how I’d behaved. It had taken me a long time to forgive myself, many years of living my life the best way I could to finally cut myself some slack.

He pulled his truck in front of Fountain Park and cut the engine. I unbuckled to get out and without warning, I was hauled into Jameson’s lap and his mouth crashed onto mine.

The kiss was deep, wet, and quick. When he pulled back, his face was still hard but his eyes had gone soft. I guessed Jameson didn’t think less of me after hearing how I’d behaved. Either that or he’d just given me the best goodbye kiss known to man.

“You belong on that pedestal, baby, high above the rest of us. Your strength is one of the many things I’m attracted to. And everything you just told me proves you’re as strong as I knew you already were.” He kissed my forehead and smiled. “And I’m happy that story ended without me having to kick my friend’s ass.”

“Did you really doubt Nixon’s integrity?”

“No, not his integrity, but I have first-hand experience how hard it is to say ‘no’ to you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. You have no problem saying ‘no’ to me.”

Not that he verbalized his refusal to do what I wanted, he simply redirected me, but the end result was the same.

“Babe, I fucked you on your couch, with my shoes and pants still on, and I did it bare. Twice.”

“Yeah, and it was hot,” I told him, then added. “And the second time you weren’t dressed.”

“It was hot. And I did manage to get you undressed the second time. Which in case I forgot to tell you, might’ve been better than the first, but only because I got to watch you ride my dick. However, the point is, I wanted to take it slow, I had no intention of having sex with you. I wanted to kiss you, then things got a little heavy and I couldn’t say no to you.”

I liked that he couldn’t say no to me. I liked that he was in the moment with me. What I didn’t like was he hadn’t lost control since then.

“But you’ve said no the last two nights.”

“Because I needed to make sure you understood what you were getting into without sex muddying the waters.”

“Now you’re insulting me again.”

“No, I’m not. But how ‘bout this, I needed to understand where I was without sex fucking with my head.”

That was a little better.

“And now? Do you need more time to understand where you are?”

“No.” I couldn’t help my smile and Jameson groaned. “She’s gonna be the death of me.”

“Maybe. But at least you’ll be seeing stars and moanin’ my name when you go.”

I watched Jameson’s face transform as humor took over. I continued to stare as the smile hit. And further, I sat on his lap and not only heard but felt him shaking with laughter.

All of it I liked—a whole lot.

13

Jameson

Jameson couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this relaxed with anyone. And considering when he’d pulled into Kennedy’s driveway he’d been in knots, it was doubly shocking. But Kennedy had a way about her that calmed his racing thoughts.

He’d been alone in the office all day and was crawling out of his skin. That’s when he’d started thinking about how much he’d changed. The timespan wasn’t lost on him. In a little over a week, he’d gone from wanting seclusion to needing to be near Kennedy.