Page 66 of Jameson’s Salvation

“I’m not trying to be a dick. You’re Jameson’s woman. You’re obviously welcome here and at the house anytime. But this isn’t you.”

“How would you know? You don’t know me.”

He chuckled though it held no humor.

“I know you well enough to know you’re the only person who can handle Jameson’s gruff, asshole attitude. I know you’re the only woman who’s ever made him laugh. I’ve seen you take both Nixon and Jameson straight on when you don’t like that they’re trying to boss you. I know you take care of yourself and your mother. I know you’re stronger than this. So why are you here?”

“Someone broke into my house—”

“Yep.”

“And then someone attacked me—”

“Yep.”

“They burnt down my hives and killed my crops.”

“Know that, too.”

“Can’t I take a fucking minute?” I asked irately.

“Sure, you can take all the minutes you need as long as they don’t turn into weeks, then months. Everyone needs to regroup, revise, and plan. Is that what you’re doing, or are you giving up and hiding? Because I have to tell you, that would be disappointing. I didn’t think you were a quitter.”

Ouch. That hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. I wasn’t a quitter. Never had been, not once in my whole life had I not tried and tried until I couldn’t try anymore.

“I’m not a quitter,” I said, even though that was exactly what I was doing and my stomach roiled.

“That’s exactly what you’re doing if you allow this setback to ruin you. So, take your minute, then get your ass back in gear. We all have your back. All you have to do is ask. Hell, even if you don’t, none of us are going to let you go at this alone.”

“I don’t like asking for help,” I admitted. “I don’t like feeling like I’m taking advantage of my friends or taking handouts.”

“Tough tits, sweetheart. You think I’ve made it through thirty-two years on this earth without needing help? You’d be wrong. You know what makes me, Nix, Chasin, Jameson, and Holden such a strong team? Know how we all survived when shit went to shit out in the field? Because we had each other’s backs. We helped each other. We trusted each other. You never push your team away, you lean on them, you ask for help and trust they will come through for you.”

“But you’re—”

“If you tell me we’re not your team, you’re gonna seriously piss me off,” he bit out.

“But—”

“You’re Jameson’s—that means you’re one of us.”

“I don’t know what that means.” I threw my arms in the air in frustration.

“It means that Jameson has claimed you. It cannot be lost on you that he avoids people like the plague. He doesn’t trust anyone but us. He hides behind his bad attitude to protect himself. But when he lets you in, you have his loyalty for life. He tried, but didn’t succeed in pushing you out of his life. He spent seven days moping and if you can believe it, his disposition was worse than his normal hateful insolence. He struggled with letting you go, thinking he was doing the right thing. He spent those days watching the video feed from the cameras outside of your house, like a hawk. And at the first sign you were in danger, he did what we all knew he wanted to do—he couldn’t get to you fast enough. Don’t forget to be the strong woman he fell in love with, because none of us have.”

“He doesn’t—”

“Not my business.” Weston held a hand up.

But even as I tried to deny it, Jameson’s words echoed in my head. Maybe I could stop dwelling on it if I could forget holding the woman I love while her blood seeped from her head and soaked my skin. And in the darkness of my hospital room while Jameson held me tight, I’d finally said out loud what I’d known for a while—I’d fallen in love with him.

“I’ll let you finish your searches.” Weston stood. “Think about what I said.”

He left Jameson’s office without me confirming I would follow his instructions. He was right, I knew he was, but I wasn’t ready to admit that I was behaving like a coward. I wasn’t ready to ask for help even though Jameson had offered it. There were a lot of things I wasn’t ready to process, so I went back to searching Reggie Coleman’s properties, and like a big, fat chicken I buried it.

21

Jameson